Operator Puns

"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.

As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"

I guess I'm just a bad conductor.

I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

Beheading there shortly.

It has its ups and downs.

She got let down

I'm flattered.

“No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

The job was boring.

Me: No it’s her husband......

Rigatoni

To find his remain-deer ;o)

She laughed so hard she hit the floret!

It was because at the time we only used HAM radios.

It had it's ups and downs.

He Lifted their spirits.

I can't seem to get over it

Then it hit me.

He razed his children well.

I told her that she could sit if she wanted to.

you need to train super hard.

It had its ups and downs. There was this kid who would come in and try to interfere with my job. Man, he really knew how to push my buttons.

While on a roof 40 feet above the operator he shuts off the crane and says "you know snarky, I really look up to you"

We called him Justin, the Knick of time.

He said there was too much boring business involved.

There was a train operator who had a really bad temper. Nobody liked him. He would always bark at people and be aggressive towards them. One day an 18 year old girl tried to get on his train near its departure time, but being the man he was, he started moving the train, she fell under it and died. The man was immediately hauled off to court where he was sentenced to desth by electric chair. So they strapped him in and pressed the switch, but nothing happend. Baffled, they let him go. The operator thought long and hard about his actions and decided to improve his life. So when an old woman tried to get on his train near the departure time and seeing her, he waited for her to get on. Unfortunately she tripped, fell, and died. He was hauled off to court again and due to his past reputation, he was sentenced to death by electric chair again. This time when they pulled the switch he was shocked and he died.

Why did it work this time, but not the first time? The first time he was a bad conductor, but the second time he was a good conductor.

He's Scandinavian.

Dad: well, it's obvious - she was well trained

I'm a construction worker in NYC. At my current job site we're working on a new super tall building, the second tallest in the city. Attached to the building is a temporary construction elevator for moving people and materials up to the upper floors.

So I get in the elevator and it's only me and the operator. We chit chat for the ride up and I ask "So what's it like being an elevator operator for this building?"

He replies "Oh you know, it has its ups and downs"

In hindsight I think I walked right into that one.

I can't stand these bad drivers!

Sir! Up, please.

(I use this one every time we have pancakes for breakfast. EVERY TIME.)

My new favorite line is "It's not my fault, it's the asphalt"

Stolen from Adam. He seems to get laughs. I'm like 30% and rising. Delivery is everything.

I was trying to level a bucket of water but the table was not level. He said, "I forgot to turn the water stabilizers on last night."

I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

The job had its ups and downs

It has ups and downs too.

It was well boring