Ever since I went through with my sex change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me

It's like I'm transparent.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yanaytsabary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
Why did Ho Chi Minh never conduct espionage operations at Christmas?

That's the only time anyone actually looks for Minh's spies.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trimofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation

No hard feelings.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/within_kamath23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
My deer cloning operation has succeeded!

I can finally make a quick buck...

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.

They just suspended animation.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Operation Pothole
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastAccount29
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a medical operation to see inside an ocean?

A biop-sea. (Thought this one up while waiting for my biopsy)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call an operation on a barbie doll

Plastic surgery

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mypingistrash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?

They only get paid in tips.

πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Is there a dessert place called Operation Dessert Storm? Because there probably should be

The mascot could be General Smore man Schwarzkopf

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TelephoneTable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my operation last week, the nurse wanted to know if I could give them a contact number in case of an emergency...

I said, "911."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Every operation a cardiac surgeon performs is heartfelt
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you tell the doctor before an operation?

B Positive

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/medl0l
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the midgets starting a beer making operation?

It's a micro brewery!

That was a small joke I just made up. Hopefully it will humor you, a little.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my operation, my doctor gave me the option to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMJTO
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
what's the official medical term for a woman-to-man sex change operation?

Attachadictomy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
After this operation will I be able to play the piano

Yes

Good because I couldn’t do it before

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirspence4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who is in charge of running all operations for a farm?

The CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats it called when a women has a sex change operation?

Addadictome

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Allies call the operation to depose Mussolini?

Finito Benito

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/W-eye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The lake by my house was overpopulated with river otters that would bite and harass people. The local gov used explosives to fix the problem. They called it operation otter pop
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imj23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I need an operation, but I can't afford it. I asked the doctor if it was something I could do on my own.

He said, "suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I never see my father after his sex change operation...

It's like he's transparent.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalenrb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey did you hear about that rapper that underwent 3 sex change operations?

Yeah, Lil Confused right?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lockpick4862
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign while driving. It said: Bus lane is in operation.

Hopefully it comes out alive.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The kids want to play Operation but I can't bring myself to tell them that the game is missing a piece

I just don't have the heart

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wanted me to be there for her operation to provide "moral support"

I told her she should probably talk to a priest instead.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perry-d-astor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My Mom has no problem talking about his recent the sex-change operation.

He's quite TransParent about it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rebelyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do surgeons do chest operations without breaking the rib cage?

They use the key.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is moving to Africa to teach basic math operations to underprivileged kids.

Upvote for divisibility.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The movie's plot was showing average day-to-day operations of the pizza shop

A rare glimpse of a slice of life

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad told me he was exhausted after performing hundreds of operations today.

He’s a math teacher.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheezingwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Was talking to my dad about his knee operation

He told me he had 5 knees now Left knee

Right knee

Kidney

Hiney

And weenie

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bretnova
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Sex change operations are one thing, but Human to animal operations really give me paws.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newt24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:

"I stand corrected."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomjim04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me how I would feel about doing an operation that would turn me into a dog

I said β€œit would give me paws.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sraaschjr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the nationwide sting operation on those who mix drinks?

Many of them are behind bars now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Man held after wasp 'sting operation' bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guinness2702
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report

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