I onced used some poor functioning speakers in front of a live audience.

I got some pretty bad feedback.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop functioning?

Your pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shibathefox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I had an idea to build a functioning car with steel wheels

Sadly though, it never gained any traction.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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One of the clocks at work stopped functioning today, and the ladies asked me to fix it.

And so I did! Now I’m the Man of the Hour.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nCRedditor-21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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I got a joke about a functioning alcoholic.

The punchline works, but it gets a lot of booze

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoomanpupper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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Did you know that fish are a great source of omega 3, which is great for helping the brain function?

...Just some food for thought.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EtoStui
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I hear that Las Vegas is the capital city of trigonometric functions..

It earned the nickname Sin City!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.

TNT. It's dino might.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/veive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I had a dream where I thought I was in a trigonometric function of an angle...

I thought I was in-sine!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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My wife can't function unless she visits the chiropractor...

I'm afraid she is addicted to crack.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FluffyBearHugs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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What is autocorrect main function?

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/math-pro
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Why aren't statisticians particularly funny?

Because the median function usually suffices. No need for its complement, the comedian function.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukaseder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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If f(x) stands for the function of x, then what does g(x) stand for?

It stands for the gunction of x.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyreoz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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I just watched a documentary about graphical functions, and was a little disappointed.

The plot line was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My math teacher started telling a story in the middle of teaching us about trig functions

It was a pretty funny tangent, though

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHaveSacks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??

Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pardon_the_panj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Teleporter

-"This Teleporter only teleports Energy."

-"It does what?!"

>!-"It doesn't matter."!<

My own Idea, still not really complete. How does it function better?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/City-scraper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My quantum physics professor was really particular about how we wrote the symbols for our wave functions.

She was a total Psi's queen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Why couldn’t the Parabolic function find a new girlfriend.

Her X always comes first and She doesn’t know y.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mh1093306
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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It's also discontinuous
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Two chemists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the first. "I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NullVoidPointer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Writing a paper on whether the Categorical Imperative and Rule Utilitarianism are functionally different and which offers a better understanding of morality...

...and right now, I literally Kant even.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What math function can’t keep still?

ADD

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleLvr69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Dress Code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udipadhikari
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Weebs be like
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amp3rsand_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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My daughter's calculator didn't function anymore.

I told her to press F(x) to pay respect

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Kloppedie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
A recent study found out how much sleep a normal teenager needs.

Just five more minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 406
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My Grandpa always pulls this one out at family functions.

Did you know I used to play hockey in high school?

Only back then we spelled it with two o's

Every. Year. We always laugh to indulge him, he loves it.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vamanos_Minion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Good work on both sides
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonrain1314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Propeller Function

My dad was a pilot. His favorite joke was to ask if we knew the function of an airplane's propeller. After the usual crazy guesses about propulsion he would reveal that it was actually to keep the pilot cool ...

"Just turn it off and watch him start to sweat."

I miss him. ... Now I'm sad.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I sometimes wonder what she is up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
🚨︎ report
When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I usually don't tell dad jokes...

But when I do,he laughs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deathshotCS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfernicFuse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Every time I get turned on a dvd appears in my underwear

Turns out I have erectile disc function

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hgliluetlardb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
This guy (showing off his tan lines) will be a great dad in the future
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madhoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
🚨︎ report
I don’t get why my wife complains about me not helping with dinner

We’re practically a fully functioning restaurant.

She’s the chef, she makes the food.

I’m the waiter, I sit around waiting for dinner.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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My grandpa asked if I was hungry... [x-post from r/Funny] imgur.com/8z6gS0l
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinet1x
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report

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