The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”
A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.
What di they serve at the cannibal school?
Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom replies, "Why not?! I'm a fun guy!"
He then goes on to say "The name's Gus, and all my friends call me Fun Gus"
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A Bavarian guy walks into a restaurant that only serves seed-based foods...
...and you know what, the germinate!
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
What do you call a servant that only serves steak?
You need to serve justice cold
because if you serve it warm it would be justwater
I found a restaurant that serves curry poured over french fries. It’s called...
Curry On My Wayward Spud. And yes... There’ll be Peas When You Are Done.
Why did the chef serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap?
Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
Why doesn’t McDonalds serve ribeye?
Because that would be a McSteak
What country serves the oiliest food?
Why wouldn’t the barman serve Shakespeare?
Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?
He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.
what do you call a restaurant that serves crap burgers??
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
For Christmas morning, I'm going to make Eggs Benedict, and I'm going to serve them on hubcaps from a 1962 Ford...
...because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
How do you serve a cannibal?
First, you have to ask the other cannibal how he would like him cooked.
I've got an idea for a Morrocan restaurant. It's gonna serve traditional food but cooked in non traditional, anti-authoritarian ways....
...I'm gonna call it 'Rage Against The Tajine'
A string goes into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says “we don’t serve string here.
So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “we don’t serve string here.
So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says “hey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?”
The string looks him in the eye and says “nope, I’m a frayed knot!”
I'm gonna serve my kids Eggs Benedict on plates made from hub caps this up coming Christmas. Why?
There's no Plate like Chrome for the Hollandaise.
If you're taken to prison and serve a short sentence
How does Wesley serve you a steak dip sandwich?
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!" Argon doesn't react
I don’t care for the bread they serve at the local Indian restaurant.
But it’s really a naan issue.
One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel walked into a local pub. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.”
The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel..
“Chelsea’s Pizza” I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied “Did you say Elsa’s Pizza?” Realizing the opportunity I said “No, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsa’s Pizza?
“Frozen pizza” said my son, rolling his eyes.
“Exactly, my son. Frozen pizza.”
True house cleaners aren't just born to serve
To cut costs even more, certain airlines will now serve snacks only to passengers on the left side of the plane.
Their justification is the passengers sitting on the right side are already F-E-D.
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve time travelers"
Two time travelers walk into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve you people here."
Two time-travellers walk into a bar
The bartender says, “we don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here
A time traveler walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers here.”
Two men from the future walk into a bar
The barkeep says, “Sorry, we don’t serve time-travelers here”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here.
During Christmas I like to cook Eggs Benedict and serve them on a Hubcap...
because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!
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