Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy12er
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Because I love work PUNS! :D
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ediosync
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake that works for the government?

A Civil Serpent.

πŸ‘︎ 590
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...

Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.

I was so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 577
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

Calcunow

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thespunkmunky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days

I said it must be my weekend immune system

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuxCassandra
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The elevator at work was broken so I took the stairs...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now no one can get down.

πŸ‘︎ 585
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out the country of Canada is a complete work of fiction.

It’s all Maple leaf

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berryman85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.

It was about time!!

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robconone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a calendar factory

But they fired me for taking a couple of days off

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaden_strommer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
It swordof works...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius____
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory

It was rough.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinkybenny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...

The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
An egg got late to work. He says to his boss:

"Sorry boss, Omelette."

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BowelMovementator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I work out?
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahydron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...

And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me

β€˜Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’

πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ’€πŸ’€β˜ οΈβ˜ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.

I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I can’t do good work in Excel without getting compliments,

I really need the validation.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
I'm getting bored of hearing these Olympic athletes say .. 'how much work they've put in and the sacrifices they've made.'

What do they want a medal?

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Who works after they're fired?

Bullets

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sameerinamdar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A buddy of mine works on an oil field. I had to stop spending time with him..

Because his sense of humor was too crude

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gunsmith123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?

It really takes the hedge off!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Probcauz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:

Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
How does pacman work out?

A walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Killag123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What shoes does a ninja wears to work?

Sneakers

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kreyfor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?

IHOP

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Its extremely rare for a defibrillator not to work.

But when it happens no one’s shocked.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
What works faster than a calculator?

A calcunow

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJWIZARD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
My friend works in IT and I asked him, β€œHow do you make a motherboard?”

He said, β€œI usually tell her about my job.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Before I start, I need to see if this thing works.

"Everyone named Michael stand up." Assorted people stand up "And that concludes the mike check."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
My coworker brought some vegetables to snack on during work, and he didn’t offer me any

It’s like he didn’t even carrot all

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/excusetheblood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do lawyers wear to work?

Law suits

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vinotm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.

Her: What can I do for you?

Me: I'm looking for a date.

Her: Oh, what kind of dates?

Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliscor_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
The devil and a criminal work great together

After all, they have great sin-ergy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WitherLord888
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?

An Arbitrator.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Dan Rather asks, "Why is the White House suddenly a very polite place to work?" twitter.com/DanRather/sta…
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Yeah, I work out. I do one sit-up every day.

When I get up in the morning, that’s half. When I lie back down at night, that’s the other half.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, β€œI don’t have time for this shit.”

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Made a quarter pounder at work today. v.redd.it/o7z4m708exy51
πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yo_ells
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect....

Then they fried me for no raisin.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad works in the ceiling fan industry

He says it's Fantastic

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/junkboatfloozy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at the recruitment agency and the consultant asked me what I thought of voluntary work?

I wouldn't do it if you paid me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RebellionRob75
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the guinea pig say to the hamster before leaving work on Friday?

Have a good wheek-end!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chonkin_GuineaPig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If this new covid vaccine works...

...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nourmomlolgey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss asked why I only get sick on work days

I said it must be my weekend immune system

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.