Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy12er
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Because I love work PUNS! :D
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ediosync
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I've given all jacks at my work pun names
πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamiproxy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend works in IT and I asked him, β€œHow do you make a motherboard?”

He said, β€œI usually tell her about my job.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
I’m in charge of the reader board at work
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?

I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."

Note: this really happened.

πŸ‘︎ 355
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonAdeAid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Why did the riot cop leave for work early?

To beat the crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisrus65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I was a Dad at work the other day

My coworker mentioned he needed to get a quote for 400 mice(Computer mice).

Coworker: "I need to get a quote for these mice."

Me: "I can give you a quote for those mice."

Coworker: "Yeah?"

Me: "Squeak Squeak."

Coworker: *Sigh*

πŸ‘︎ 696
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise”.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 509
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
I was asked to put either an inspirational quote or a joke on the message board at work.
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatdavidgeezer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
My kid asked me again how variables work

I sighed and said, "Okay, for the nth time..."

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
Show support for his hard work
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glock_muncher
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
My wife is returning to the office and thus has to go back to wearing work outfits. One of her complaints was that wearing a bra was such a drag...

I’ve always found them to be very uplifting.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rscott1691
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
We should have known communism wouldn't work...

There were lots of red flags

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
I forgot my sunglasses at work today

But that's okay, because that means I'll be looking at the bright side of life!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous-Avocado
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
This joke may need a little work... I was going to throw a costume party this Halloween...

But, I think everyone would come as surgeons.

This is the part that may need work...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...

I said it has its ups and downs.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Its honest work
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs1104666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
Where does Eeyore work?

In retail

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0reopanda_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......

Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carpet_tart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hobbit that works in advertising ?

Billboard Baggins

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
What did the dough say after a hard day of work?

I knead a hug

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/littlejjguy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
My dad works in a steel plant.

He says it's very riveting

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuryaYlp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Communism sounds good on paper, but I'm not sure I'd trust it to work...

...too many red flags

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrLazyTiger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Why did the tiler want to work on his day off?

Fear of missing grout

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2019inchnails
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
What does a Greek machine need to work?

Greece

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolf6513
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
I work at a facility focused on helping drugged animals

This duck came in and I swear he was on quack

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DREAD1432
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
A person asked a mailman, β€œwhy do you work as a mailman, it gives so little money?”

The mailman responds β€œIt’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message”

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bambiartistic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Not sure if this board works out.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit

No more Mr. Knife guy

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllKnowingBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
My brother-in-law, a clinical psychologist, says he is cutting back the days and hours of his work week.

In short his practice is shrinking.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
What's 'Take your kid to work day' called if you work in an abattoir?

Bring your daughter to the slaughter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Own-Initial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
I took a COVID 19 crap at work.....

People were advised to wear a mask and stay 6 feet away from the bathroom

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryman19
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call a can opener that doesnβ€˜t work?

A canβ€˜t opener!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeje17j
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Saw this at work today on a furniture piece
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outerjuice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to give the cat a bath today while she was at work

My tongue is soo sore right now.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What do lawyers wear to work?

A lawsuit.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Everyone works out different for example I do jujitsu

But that’s just how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ztronic412
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
I work at Johnsonville, lost a whole pallet of sausages yesterday - luckily I have a plan...

Time for the β€œwurst-case scenario”. Glad I brat that to your attention? Sorry, I know these jokes are played, you gotta take sausage jokes on a casing by casing basis. Ok I’ll stop now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
How do dishes work together so well?

They SINKchronize!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoopy_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?

IHOP

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s1_amit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for Β£5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
Are you currently wearing a face mask and glasses to work?

You may be eligible for condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crackmytoes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.....

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
A lady at work commented on the holes in my jumper.

I replied β€˜Darn it Sharon’

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThinkingOz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for work?

It overswept.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertT1222
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Someone told me to work my calves out because my legs were too small

I still don’t know how it was supposed to help, but my calves ran away.

I miss Luigi and Maria.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rant-rant-rant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
I put up a scarecrow in my garden the other day and it works so perfectly...

... it’s impeckable!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/44pointer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
After work why does Barack wants to be referred to as Al?

Because sweet home Al Obama....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
A guy in work asked why my son had given up his flying lessons.

I told him pilot jobs aren't really taking off at the moment.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbounce74
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
My friend said he didn't understand how cloning works

I told him that makes the two of us

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klaus-012
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
Today you should work as much as you can.

In future you can tell everyone that in the year when the pandemic came, you worked on 24/7.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pur__0_0__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?

A Fed-Ex Ex-Fed!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
There was a kidnapping at my work today !

It's ok, my boss' son woke up eventually

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?

Because all that's left is WTF.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
I had an idea at work to make headphones that have two right sides

They said it would be all right

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duffle_boi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
What kind of lemon performs charity work?

Lemon aid.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.

He’s a total night mayor.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for work?

He over swept.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thats_weird_af
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between work and my wife

Work still sucks

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThickCactus85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
I met a guy from Australia who works in IT

I asked: Do you come from a LAN down under

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I don’t get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.

Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pansexual man named nick who works at a cd store?

Pan nick at the disc co.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_abdula03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
How well did the battery made using chicken ovules work out you ask?

It worked eggcellently.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deciperer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"

It didn't help, but I knew he meant well

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarryGoLocky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hemeonc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I work at a straw factory

It sucks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukurslf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a nut farm

The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mister_origami
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Picking up my friend for work...he messaged me sayin he'd be right out, he was fixin' coffee...

So i asked "how'd it break?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l33fty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
My boss shared this in my work chat today, it took me a moment...
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/errorFohOhFoh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't picabo street work as a receptionist in the I.C.U.?

She would say "picabo I.C.U."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AchievedIan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Apple forces children in China to work for minimum wage?

iMoral

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zak-Ive-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
I called my wife and told her I'd pick up pizza and coke on my way back home from work, but she's not happy.

She still regrets letting me name the twins.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
That would bearly work!
πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
I got home from work and sat down for dinner with my parents. "Wow, haddock for dinner?"

Dad responds "So I take it you haddock-good day?"

(Note: This actually happened today.)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Umikaloo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
(White)Bored at work
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/olive-bernie
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
My colleague got sick and was sent home from work.

He had a wee cough.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vectorman1989
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
My friend told me if I want to get out of doing the dishes, try dropping some of them. I tried it, it didn't work.

But then during babysitting.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
Why does it suck to work at an ice cream shop?

Cause it’s always sprinkling

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fishy-breath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘︎ 277
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview today, he asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell?"

I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a delivery driver who exclusively works with Indian restaurants?

A curryer.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phatbatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I saw this come across the ticker at a sports bar I work at.

What is a sharks favorite illegal substance?

>!Reefer!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Where did the steer sit after a long day of work?

The cowch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
I've been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes.

Things are looking up.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
All of the scissors have started disappearing at work

Starting to think that someone might have performed an exscissorcism.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espressopronto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?

One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work on the house. I got chatting to him and it turns out he is a British Airways pilot who’s been furloughed and earning a bit of extra cash.

He made a lovely job of the landing.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommadds
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.

Me: step 1, buy a boat.

Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SashaBanks2020
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
I was on my way to work this morning and I forgot how to put my seat belt on.

After awhile, it clicked

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOnEm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
I'm a builder and my work is completely unparalleled.

I can't ever seem to get the beams to line up with each other.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTeddly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
I work at a store that sells imported prosthetic limbs.

I never though I'd grow up to be an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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Why do guns only work when they are fired.

Please help. I am tired but I can't fall asleep. I need the ultimate answer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrickyBullfrog2
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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Being a plumber and out of work because of the lockdown I've started my own vegetable patch.

It's going really well and I've just noticed my first leek!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
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Puns are the devils work

So i have nun

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brick_Beast
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hemeonc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for work

He overswept

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoupleNovices
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report

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