Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
Because I love work PUNS! :D
I told my wife I saw a deer on the way to work.
She said how do you know he was headed to work?
My wife called me at work and said “it’s time, the baby is coming”
I said that’s impossible, Labor Day is in September!
(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
What do you call a pencil that doesn't work?
Only works when spoken instead of typed out
Why did I stop and take a shot of vodka when I was running late to work?
That's what I do when I'm Russian
This ice truck on my way to work.
Hopefully atleast this meme works
Boss can’t see her employee’s hard work
My wife called me at work and told me one of our envelopes is giving her an attitude
I told her I will address it when I get home
how do stealth airplanes work?
I was going through the checkout when my card didn't work. The cashier said that I should try the card again.
I looked down at my shirt and said, "but I like my polo".
I had to explain it, but once she got it she thought it was hilarious. I'm very proud of this joke.
My colleagues at work have given me the nickname “Mr. Compromise.”
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
I know a friend who always thinks one step ahead in his work
He’s a carpenter & makes stairs.
At work I reduce the spice level in food.
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts snugly in a tight hole and works best when pulled.
I have a rare condition that means I never get days off from work.
It’s due to my weekend immune system
What do you call a procrastinator who has others do all the work for them?
Please answer soon, thanks!
When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
I was going to go work at a herb garden...
...but I didn't have enough thyme
When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
What works faster than a calculator?
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
Why couldn't the logo designer get to work?
What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?
I refuse to believe that my road work father was stealing from his job.
But when i got home all the signs were there.
I offered to carpool with the security guy this week but I totally forgot to pick him up this morning. When he got to work later her was furious and punched me in the back of the head.
It’s my own fault, I’ll never let my guard down again.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works..
What was the sad teenager listening to while they were forced to do yard work?
So I used to work at an orange juice factory...
But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
My friend wanted to work at a cemetery
I told him it was a dying business.
What do you call a dentist that donates his work to charity?
Which Star Wars character works in a restaurant?
My uncle used to work at a factory that recycled worn out whitewalls. One day, he fell into one of the processing machines...
I was doing a crossword at work...
..a colleague came up to me and said, "I've got a good clue for you: "A postman's round"
I thought about it then asked, "How many letters?"
To which he replied, "Hundreds!"
I came home from work upset. "My boss fired me because I expressed my opinion," I told my wife.
She said, "That's a human right."
I said, "Yes, my boss is a human."
Why was the broom late for work?
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What do you call a cocoa seed that is late for work ?
A friend of mine made a terrible mistake at work.
When he came in the next day, his face was purple. His co-workers told him he shouldn’t beet himself up.
Taylor Swift recently got some lab work done.
Turns out she has bad blood.
What do you call an alligator interested in detective work?
I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work.
I opened my eyes and chilled.....I'm at work.
Like in Star Wars, things will work out for you
With Luke on your side.
Always look on the light side of the life force.
I told my niece that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning.
She said, "How do you know it was on it’s way to work?”
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