The founder of modern study.
What do fish study in school?
A professor studies bisexual people
He is a professor of biology
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.
His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
I wanted to study astronomy...
What do you call a scientist who studies avian sexuality?
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"
I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.
Those are Apple Bottom Genes.
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does a seal study in school?
Art, Art, Art, Art, Art, ....
I don’t trust double blind studies
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
What kind of equipment do you need to study birds?
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
How often do people who study scientific elements tell dad jokes?
Studies show habitual marijuana smokers have increased saliva production
When asked if there was any prevention, scientists stated you can either spit or get off the pot.
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed
because it didnt hold water
Studies show alcoholic law students...
...are more likely to have trouble passing the bar.
I had this blood test last week and didn't study
Good thing I managed to get a B+
What do you call someone who studies ancient Egyptian plumbing?
I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
What do you study in music college?
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
Study’s show people who suffer insomnia are really into there research.
They won’t rest until they find a cure.
New study determines what 99% of kids homeschool hate the most
Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
Barnyard studies have consistently found
that two out of three pigs use inferior building materials.
According to a recent study, 9 out of 10 people who are afraid of hurdles....
No matter how hard I study farming and angles, I’m doomed to be an amateur.
I’ll never be a protractor.
There was a recent study done on a baby's first words.
It had some interesting dada to go by.
I specialize in the study of swear words from the 1800s...
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by
He sensed something amiss
A new study shows 9/10 people who are afraid of hurdles...
A new study reveals that listening to a Queen album might be bad for your health.
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
What do you call someone who dedicates their life to the study of the eye?