What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
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︎ Nov 29 2019
How do proctologists make diagnoses?
The process of elimination
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︎ Jan 05 2019
If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?
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︎ Nov 16 2017
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.
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︎ Oct 01 2016
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
I have been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.
I hope it's not terminal.
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︎ May 01 2021
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was 5. Thatβs the same time we began calling her by her middle name, Sarah.
Her first name is Eileen.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
What did the nervous mailman get diagnosed with?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
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︎ Feb 05 2020
My doctor just diagnosed me with a severe lack of awareness.
Man! That came out of nowhere!!
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︎ Oct 26 2020
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
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︎ May 26 2020
I was just diagnosed with Mime disease...
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
My friend was just diagnosed with a flesh eating bacteria, so I texted him to see how he is doing.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor said it was terminal
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Iβve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says itβs terminal
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︎ May 08 2020
Today I diagnosed someone with wrinkled clothing. He had an iron deficiency
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︎ Jan 10 2020
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.
I'm just trying to B positive.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My friend was diagnosed with water on the brain...
We gave him a tap on the head and he is fine now.
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︎ May 09 2020
My Doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.
Now I'm worried shitless.
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I've been worrying a lot about my life since the doctor diagnosed me with insomnia.
It's keeping me up all night.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Iβm a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. Itβs Leprechronic.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
A heavy metal fan was diagnosed with coronavirus
Heβs down with the sickness
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︎ Mar 09 2020
I was diagnosed as colorblind yesterday
It came completely out of the purple
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︎ Jun 21 2019
I just got back from the doctor, and was diagnosed with a faulty imagination
I can't make this shit up
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Alex Tribek was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
... I guess his life is in Jeopardy
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︎ Mar 07 2019
I was diagnosed with an advanced case of ADHD.
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︎ May 03 2018
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
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︎ Sep 19 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....
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︎ Nov 20 2020
My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.
That came out of nowhere.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
I've just been diagnosed as color blind
It really came out of the purple
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︎ Jun 02 2020
I was Diagnosed with chronic fear of Giants
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︎ Mar 09 2019
I was just diagnosed as colourblind
You know, it really came out of the purple
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...
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︎ May 08 2020
I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
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︎ Sep 21 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...
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︎ Sep 27 2019
I have been diagnosed with a very specific type of Amnesia.
It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no Cure!
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︎ Dec 24 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
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︎ Sep 22 2019
I was diagnosed as colour blind today.
It really came out of the purple.
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︎ Apr 06 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants..
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︎ Aug 20 2018
I was just recently diagnosed with colorblindness.
It totally came out of the green.
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︎ Feb 07 2019
I just got diagnosed as color blind
It really came out of the purple
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think Iβm an airport building.
Hope itβs not terminal.
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with the fear of giants..
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︎ Nov 04 2019
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