What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?

Eggsray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iXodre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How do proctologists make diagnoses?

The process of elimination

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?

Epps-ilepsy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquirrellyOtter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.

He's a veteran Aryan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.

It really came out of the purple.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I have been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.

I hope it's not terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was 5. That’s the same time we began calling her by her middle name, Sarah.

Her first name is Eileen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OverlyGeneric75
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the nervous mailman get diagnosed with?

Mail performance anxiety

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.

There is no cure.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...

Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor just diagnosed me with a severe lack of awareness.

Man! That came out of nowhere!!

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was just diagnosed with Mime disease...

I'm speechless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wornsy21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was just diagnosed with a flesh eating bacteria, so I texted him to see how he is doing.

He said: IDK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BSMike82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.

The doctor said it was terminal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popular333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...

...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...

The doctor says it’s terminal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippergills
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I diagnosed someone with wrinkled clothing. He had an iron deficiency
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aspat7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.

I'm just trying to B positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was diagnosed with water on the brain...

We gave him a tap on the head and he is fine now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My Doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.

Now I'm worried shitless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been worrying a lot about my life since the doctor diagnosed me with insomnia.

It's keeping me up all night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_QuamTheBomb_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A heavy metal fan was diagnosed with coronavirus

He’s down with the sickness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed as colorblind yesterday

It came completely out of the purple

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordranch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got back from the doctor, and was diagnosed with a faulty imagination

I can't make this shit up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaneous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Alex Tribek was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer

... I guess his life is in Jeopardy

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mc_hoZer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed with an advanced case of ADHD.

AD4K

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.

That came out of nowhere.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just been diagnosed as color blind

It really came out of the purple

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was Diagnosed with chronic fear of Giants

FeeFiphobia

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was just diagnosed as colourblind

You know, it really came out of the purple

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitaniumPeak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...

...feefiphobia...

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay2235
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

It's called feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...

It's called feefiphobia!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I have been diagnosed with a very specific type of Amnesia.

It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.

There is no Cure!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

It's called feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed as colour blind today.

It really came out of the purple.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/camocase
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants..

Feefiphobia

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I was just recently diagnosed with colorblindness.

It totally came out of the green.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got diagnosed as color blind

It really came out of the purple

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levihulsdigity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I’m an airport building.

Hope it’s not terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tangledtitty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with the fear of giants..

Feefiphobia ..

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trapdaddymigo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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