Scientists have found a way to detect HIV using sound
They call the device hearing aids
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︎ Oct 15 2020
What do you feel when your phone can't detect your bluetooth device ?
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple...
...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
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︎ Aug 24 2019
What is an app which will detect roaches creeping on you?
Mobile developers - APProach
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︎ Dec 27 2019
A friend of mine once told me that the best superpower would be the ability to detect the presence of Indian bread.
I said βThatβs naan-sense!β
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︎ Aug 18 2019
What do you call a machine that can read books and make reviews about them, but sadly can only detect red font?
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︎ Nov 16 2019
I built and sold a machine which can detect and remove carbon monoxide from the air.
My customer says he is very happy with the CO-OPERATION
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︎ Feb 14 2019
I invented a device that can detect physical violence
It runs on a watch battery.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
What to firefighters use to detect fire?
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︎ Jul 16 2018
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the βGuess your weightβ booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
What did one fish detective say to the other fish detective after interrogating someone?
Theyβre really sus-fish-ous
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︎ Jan 21 2021
what do you call a detective electrician?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?
βIβm never going to get to the bottom of this.β
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Iβve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective
We call him Sherlock Ohms.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
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︎ May 31 2020
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?
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︎ Apr 27 2020
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
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︎ Aug 19 2020
There was a family of chicken detectives...
They were called βthe clue clucks clanβ
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︎ Oct 03 2020
A detective arrives
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
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My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"
Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."
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︎ Aug 30 2020
What do you call a group of racist Irish detectives?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?
They are always looking for more proof!
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︎ Jul 23 2020
There's a detective named Frederick Lee...
His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pigβs name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminalβs mask was animal themed, I said to them, βFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the manβ
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︎ Jul 07 2020
What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?
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︎ Jun 26 2020
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
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︎ May 01 2020
What is a corrupt detective called?
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︎ Apr 09 2020
What will Quentin Tarantino be called if he gets detected with COVID-19?
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︎ Mar 14 2020
Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.
Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnβt bother question 8Dβs children about what they saw, since theyβre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9Dβs kids will remember.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer
Detective 1: explain what happened please
Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!
Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?
Detective 2: idk Beets me...
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︎ Apr 25 2020
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by
He sensed something amiss
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︎ May 07 2020
Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.
>!They had coroner-virus.
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︎ Mar 13 2020
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
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︎ Jan 27 2020
A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Severed Human Nose Found
I live across from a lake and some fisherman found a severed human nose. The detective on the case asked if I know who it belongs to. I replied, "no body nose."
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What do you call a detective electrician?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call a constipated detective
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︎ Nov 05 2019
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Dec 04 2018
What do you call a constipated detective?
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︎ Feb 11 2020
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