Scientists have found a way to detect HIV using sound
They call the device hearing aids
What do you feel when your phone can't detect your bluetooth device ?
I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple...
...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What is an app which will detect roaches creeping on you?
Mobile developers - APProach
A friend of mine once told me that the best superpower would be the ability to detect the presence of Indian bread.
I said “That’s naan-sense!”
What do you call a machine that can read books and make reviews about them, but sadly can only detect red font?
I built and sold a machine which can detect and remove carbon monoxide from the air.
My customer says he is very happy with the CO-OPERATION
I invented a device that can detect physical violence
It runs on a watch battery.
What to firefighters use to detect fire?
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the “Guess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
What did one fish detective say to the other fish detective after interrogating someone?
They’re really sus-fish-ous
what do you call a detective electrician?
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?
“I’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”
I’ve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective
We call him Sherlock Ohms.
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
There was a family of chicken detectives...
They were called “the clue clucks clan”
A detective arrives
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
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My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?
Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"
Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."
What do you call a group of racist Irish detectives?
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?
They are always looking for more proof!
There's a detective named Frederick Lee...
His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, “Fred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”
What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
What is a corrupt detective called?
What will Quentin Tarantino be called if he gets detected with COVID-19?
Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.
Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer
Detective 1: explain what happened please
Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!
Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?
Detective 2: idk Beets me...
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by
He sensed something amiss
Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.
>!They had coroner-virus.
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
Severed Human Nose Found
I live across from a lake and some fisherman found a severed human nose. The detective on the case asked if I know who it belongs to. I replied, "no body nose."
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
What do you call a detective electrician?
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
What do you call a constipated detective
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
What do you call a constipated detective?
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