Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
When people find out im a bad electrician ...
... they are usually shocked
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
So you find the perfect Asian gal, you get up the courage to speak to her, you walk over and start small talk, you ask her name, and you find out...
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.
But eventually I came around.
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
How did Dwayne Johnson’s family find out that they had Covid?
They couldn’t smell what The Rock was cooking.
I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.
Things just went from bad to worse.
Am I the only one who has to spell out the alphabet to find where a letter is
A man woke up to find out that he was connected to a constant source of water.
He was quite irrigated about it.
How did the crazy people find their way out of the woods ?
They followed the psycho path
What creature do you follow to find your way out of a swamp?
Frankenstein’s monster was watching porn on his laptop when his wife came home. She didn’t find out because luckily...
He hid the Mac. He hid the monster Mac.
I finally figured out why almost no one in my family finds my cheesy jokes and puns good.
They are all laughtose intolerant.
My son came home to find me slumped over the lawn mower crying my eyes out. He shouted over the noise, "You ok, pop?!" I shouted back...
"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"
I'm secretly in love with a melon, but I ended it because I know everyone will find out
How can you find out whether you have constipation or diarrhea?
The process of elimination.
People only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make
Then they call me ugly and poor
Damn, now he won't find out his fortune.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
We took a test to find out what cheese we were and she does it dirty like this.
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.
A college girl finds out she's pregnant....
She doesn't know who the father is, so she goes to every dude on the campus she recently had sex with, tells them
"I'm pregnant."
Luckily the guy was found when his newly developed senses made him answer:
"Hi pregnant. I'm dad."
When I was on Naked and Afraid, I went out gathering food. I was able to find 2 small slugs to bring back to camp...
It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don’t make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Someone stole my Microsoft Office. I’ll find out who it is.
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked to find out that I had broken all my fingers.
My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"
Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"
It took me forever to find out what “IDK” means
Every time I asked someone they would say “I don’t know”
Very proud of my five year old daughter. My wife screamed with a sound of absolute terror while in the shower earlier. I find out that she saw a few hairs together, thought it was a giant bug, and temporarily lost her mind. My daughter asked why she screamed...
...so I told her that her mom saw a few hairs fall out of her head and freaked out.
My daughter responds, completely deadpan, "mom had rabbits falling out of her head?"
She's going to be a great dad one day.
Edit: skipped a word
When people find out I’m not a very good electrician
I drove my new car out of the lot only to find that the reverse gear is broken.
There’s no turning back now.
Most people get shocked when they find out..
I’m not their electrician.
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
Just bought a thesaurus and got home to find out the pages are all blank!
I have no words to describe how angry I am...
I drove my new car out of the lot, only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician.
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a great electrician.
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician
Most are shocked when they find out I am not a very good electrician.
I drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
I've finally figured out why nobody finds my cheesy jokes and puns funny...
They're all laughtose intolerant
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
