I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
My Child asked me “what is a dark joke?” I said to him “you see that man trying to find his car?”
My son looks at me and says, “you know I’m blind right?” Me being me said “Exactly”
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”
"Someone help me find my cornucopia!",
The man cried fruitlessly
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
I can't find my cake anywhere.
I was so excited to eat it for Christmas but it was stollen.
Edit: tried to strengthen the Cake to Stollen connection.
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
While shopping my wife stopped in the make-up section to buy concealer but couldn’t find any.
I now understand why she said it’s the best product on the market.
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.
My shift at work ends at midnight, but I'm a night owl so I find staying up late easy...
...I could stay up until midnight with my eyes closed.
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her I’ve been trying to find them for three days, she said “please I need to see”
I said yeah me too that’s why I’m looking for my glasses
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..
I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
I opened my radiator to find a lone insect, wearing sunglasses and a leather jecket. It said. "ayyyy!"
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the sea shore.
I couldn't find my pizza cutter last night, so I used an old Bryan Adams album.
Because it cuts like a knife.
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I don’t know what to make of it.
*Can't find where I parked my van* Me : Damn. Where did my
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
I told my dad I didn’t find any sand dollars in the ocean.
He said it was because we weren’t anywhere near the bank.
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
My wife said, “I can’t seem to find my datebook. Do you know where it is?”
I said, “Sounds like... you have a hidden agenda.”
It took me 20 minutes to find the mollusk in my fish tank
It was very well clamoflaged
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
To whoever stole my microsoft account, I will find you...
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
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