Do you guys know where I can watch "Pun"?
It's supposed to be this new play on words.
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch 🦉
What's the best time to go to a watch store?
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
Why should we watch out for 2022?
Because it's Two thousand, twenty too.
Met a suspicious guy in a graveyard trying to give me a watch.
The fact a body was attached to it made it a dead giveaway.
What kind of watch does Snow White like to wear?
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
Watch out for those stairs!
They're up to something...
I always wanted to be a watch repairman
But I could never find the time
If you watch a movie about ducks...
Is it called a duckumentary?
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...
Why did she always want me to check the time?
When someone gifts you a watch
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Watch your grammar please!
The double negative is a complete no no!
This is a movie I would legitimately watch.
Nothing goes wrong on my watch
What do you get when you give a senile old man a watch?
I invented the watch belt...
everyone says it’s a waist of time.
I’ve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope it’s not a wind up
I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise.
I lost my watch at a party on Saturday...
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
If I attached a watch to my belt....
It would be a waste of time.
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, £2.50."
I thought “Why would anyone pay to see that?”
A bunch of male ducks teased me today because I still watch Nickelodeon.
I ignored them because I don't have time for Drakes and Josh
Watch out for stray Pokémon hiding in the bushes.
They might be trying to take a Pikachu.
I may have been kicked out of my local watch shop for throwing the merchandise around, but I can confirm...
Time does fly when you’re having fun!
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
Today I took a single Cheerio from my son’s bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said “Watch out...”
Why did the pig watch his team in the playoffs?
He had a rooting interest.
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
Kid: Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
Dad: Somewhere. Ogre there.
I saw a sign that said 'watch for children'
that was a really good trade
I was drinking and dancing at this club for hours and hours when I dropped my watch
"Hey son, would you like to watch the airplane take off?"
My mom told me not to watch anything on the tv
So I watched next to the tv
My favorite thing to watch
If Google released a really expensive watch
Buying one would be a Google flex
The makers of these limes clearly watch CNN
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought...
..."That sounds like a fair trade."