Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
Why do I always get a sinking feeling when I watch the Titanic?
Just floating the question out there.... Can anyone give me a tip?
Why can't Thanos watch the Argentinian history musical?
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
I ate a watch the other day
It was time consuming. I ended up going back for seconds.
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
I dropped my watch in the toilet!
It’s a really shitty time now
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch 🦉
What's the best time to go to a watch store?
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
I invented the watch belt...
everyone says it’s a waist of time.
I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise.
My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...
Why did she always want me to check the time?
I may have been kicked out of my local watch shop for throwing the merchandise around, but I can confirm...
Time does fly when you’re having fun!
Today I took a single Cheerio from my son’s bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said “Watch out...”
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
Why did the pig watch his team in the playoffs?
He had a rooting interest.
Watch out for stray Pokémon hiding in the bushes.
They might be trying to take a Pikachu.
I’d never let my children watch the orchestra.
There is too much sax and violins in it
The makers of these limes clearly watch CNN
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra
There's too much sax and violins
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver
My mom told me not to watch anything on the tv
So I watched next to the tv
Kid: Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
Dad: Somewhere. Ogre there.
"Hey son, would you like to watch the airplane take off?"
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
Why did the hand have trouble using its watch?
Early scientists would watch the world spin for 24 hours...
Then they got bored and called it a day.
You can now watch the World Origami Championship on tv since all these other sports are being cancelled.
My husband slapped a fly off the door and said 'Not on my watch!'
I told him "Nah, that's a door"
I’m not sure I’ll be able to watch Narcos the same ever again
The best time on an analogue watch is 6:30
I swear the pigeons in my area are plotting to overthrow the neighbourhood watch.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Can i watch the TV?
Dad: yes but don't turn it on
What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing tournament ?
So I told my friend I was gonna watch Cars for the first time and he told me how it ends.
My wife told me to watch her plants when I sprayed the weed killer.
I've been watching them for an hour now and I don't see what's so interesting about them.
I always mean to watch the sunrise
But then I realize I’m just not up for it
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.
That’ll be the Peer review.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
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