NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
Old Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies) got in an accident that left him with a glass eye. It was uncomfortable to sleep in over night so he took it out and hired a servant to watch it.
It was his Jed Eye Master.
As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
Today I took a single Cheerio from my son’s bowl, stared him in the eyes, placed it on the table, smashed it with my fist, and said “Watch out...”
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
Kid: Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
Dad: Somewhere. Ogre there.
Why did the hand have trouble using its watch?
I was wondering if this group could help me come up with puns for my husbands promotion watch. It’s an omega speedmaster. He loves puns and I am truest bad at them.
My grandfather’s broken watch is as relevant to my family today as it was to him 50 years ago.
It’s a timeless piece, really.
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.
That’ll be the Peer review.
So I told my friend I was gonna watch Cars for the first time and he told me how it ends.
It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for
Watch where you step, its Rocky up ahead
Don't recommend you to watch this video. It barely helped me.
Thanks to my dedication, my watch always has the right time. It's never been wrong.
As the newest medic on my shift, my boss told me it was my responsibility to watch the office.
I’m currently on season 6, and still have no idea what this has to do with being a medic.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
If you lose a watch and replace it...
Would you be making up for lost time?
It's a shame he can only watch trailers and never a full movie.
I watch TV so much that I should get 1000 awards for it.
It's about time that I get some M-mys.
I really wanted to watch Fast and the Furious, but the spoilers ruined it for me.
My wife told me to "watch it, or else!"
I'm not a big fan of horror movies. But that's what she wants.
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing this girl.
I walked up to the guy, punched him right in the face.
No one does that to a girl...... not on my watch.
I was fiddling with my watch in bed today and it came off and fell on my face
It clocked me pretty good
I WAS on top of the laundry. Then my wife had to ruin everything and tell me to fold it like I promised and stop lying on it while I watch TV.
Did you guys watch the news? Someone poured oil all over a major Jordanian city and heated it up.
If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
what do you call it when you pay money to watch a flip book?
If you buy a used watch, does it have a secondhand second hand?
Not only does my new girlfriend like to watch soccer, she also plays it.
It's 90 degrees in my bedroom my right now and my friend wanted to watch a video together
I can't watch football anymore, it's too triggering
Every play has an offensive line
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office
I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.
Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office
I’m on season 6 and I’m not really sure what this show has to do with security
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
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