I ate a clock

It was very time consuming lucky I went back for seconds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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I put a clock on my belt

It was a waist of time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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What is the downside of eating a clock?

It's time consuming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridbirdbird
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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A clock started training for a marathon

Now everyone's mad it runs fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabsUndercover
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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What happens when you accidentally drop you Viagra on your clock?

Your gonna have a hard time...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corninmyface
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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For My Birthday My Kids Gave Me An Alarm Clock That Sweared At Me Instead Of Buzzing.

It was quite a rude awakening.

Source: Corny Dad Jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.

It was too time consuming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bombsaway1083
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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How many times in a day can you look at a clock?

All of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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The alarm clock may be bulky, dirty, and poorly designed

But it's what's on the inside that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaTb0i8u
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?

A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv242
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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What do you call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.

It would be truly alarming.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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Yesterday I ate a clock....

It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!

β€œIt’s about high time,” commented the union representative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSdabeast
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
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Whats the best time on a clock?

6:30, hands down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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If a clock you ordered arrived in the mail,

That means your time is here

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pro-Do
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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My boyfriend told me he already turned the clocks forward an hour in the kitchen. I told him he is a man ahead of his time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haimeows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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β€œDad, did you remember to move the clocks forward last night?”

β€˜Yeah, but they fell off the shelf.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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Guys! They finally made a story about clocks!

And it’s about time too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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My friend makes a living off of being the sound of a clock.

Her actual words were, "I'm a tiktoker," but I knew what she meant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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I thought my friends believed I was the clock

But it ends up they were just winding me up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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Why did the clock go back four seconds?

Because it was hungry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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When you order a clock online and it arrives

My time has come

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redmaxdog1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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What does a clock do when he's still hungry

Go back four seconds

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxxSnack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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i tried to eat a clock yesterday.

It was quite time consuming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agumeis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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So I asked the employee if I could see the clock for sale, so she gave it to me. I asked my dad if I could buy it.

My dad said β€œwe don’t have Time for that, we’re gonna leave any Second now, so Hand it back to the lady and head back to Hour car”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InThePoolGaming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg

That way you will start off the new year on the right foot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Don’t annoy clocks

Or they’ll get ticked off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.

It was about time!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robconone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Just thought this : I went to the doctor cause I was pooping clocks

The doctor told me i was wasting time

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lighty-Slave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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What is a clocks favorite spice

Thyme

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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It took me over 6 months to come up with a joke about calendars and clocks.

It's about time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/remoonl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I ate a clock

It was very time consuming.

Especially when I went back for seconds.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethereal_sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.

That way you start 2021 on the right foot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyRecon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Don't ever try eating a clock if you're in a hurry

It's time consuming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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Why did the clock get fat?

It kept going for seconds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/static612
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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The most important thing to me is my alarm clock

It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saucyminnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Why are clocks so good at maths?

Because every second counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geetwo_g2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?

Because every morning it wanted him to get woke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piccolorick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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Why should you never believe a clock?

It usually has second hand information

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shywife36
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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How does a clock get fat?

It gains weight OVER TIME

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcaughman0225
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Why do they call it a grandfather clock?

Cause it's an old timer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflyestgrayson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I buy a new clock every time a new social movement forms.

Because the times, they are a-changin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EatsWatermelon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I just ate a clock

It was very time consuming

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cuntillious
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Confusing_Musings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I ate a clock.

It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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