They say you should test your fire alarm at least once a month...
But it’s costing me a fortune in houses...
For his upcoming birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that would swear at him instead of ringing.
He’s in for a rude awakening.
My wife got me an alarm clock out of the blue.
For her birthday, I gave my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.
She’s in for a rude awakening.
What do you call an alarm clock that always goes off at 3am in the morning?
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
For Christmas, I’m getting my kids an alarm clock that swears at them instead of ringing.
They are in for a rude awakening.
My son is mad at his alarm clock,
He’s been calling it “Fake snooze” 😴
I’m going to invent “alarm clock pants”.
To help everyone who’s legs keep falling asleep!
What do you call it when the fire alarm goes off during sex
What’s the difference between my stupid neighbour and an alarm clock?
Alarm clock screams before I punch it
I recently changed my alarm clock music to a Justin Bieber song.
Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day so that I don’t have to listen to it.
What if you hit your alarm clock one morning and it hits you back?
My wife always complains about the gifts I buy for her. This time I got her a Tourette’s alarm clock.
She is in for a rude awakening.
What do you call an alarm set for 5:56?
I bought a smoke alarm.
It tells me when it's time for a cigarette.
How did people wake up before alarm clocks?
I was hungry, so I ate my alarm clock
It was pretty time consuming
Alarm clocks are great but the snooze button was even better. Because after sleeping for eight hours, what I need...
Alarms
Another word for Octopus.
Have you ever eaten an alarm clock?
It’s very time consuming.
I turned off the fire alarm today
Now fire doesn’t know when to wake up
I've got a Blur alarm clock. So I'm always waking up to Park Life.....
Except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awoken by the dustmen.
When seeing a sign for an alarm
The door is alarmed... The lights are startled too
Most people set their morning alarms on the hour (ie. 6am, 7am, 8am), but mine goes off half-clocked
I raised the alarm at work today....
The midgets were furious.
The alarm is sounded at the batcave. Batman runs to the batmobile but it won't turn on. He tells robin to grab a new battery.
Robin says: What's a tery?
For her birthday, I got my wife a Tourette’s Alarm Clock.
She is in for a rude awakening.
I've set my alarm for three.
I wish the others would get their own alarm.
I went to a party in an alarm clock dress,but i left it early
The people were winding me up
The experts said my smoke alarms were too old...
..but they still work just fine. I think they are just being alarmists.
Setting an Alarm
On holiday, we had been staying at a hotel. Me and my brother were in one room and my parents in another.
My Dad usually knocks on the door to make sure we don't over sleep.
Me: I told you I set an alarm for 8, why did you knock at like 7:30?
Dad: Why were you setting an alarm for 8? There are only two of you.
Set your alarm for school.
My girlfriend told her 8 year old son that its bedtime and to set his alarm for school.
His very serious response "I can't do that, my alarm doesn't have letters."
I've been in tears for 10 minutes now!!
He may make a good dad in the future!
Get my wife whenever I set my alarm clock
She asks "What are you setting it for?"
I give her a funny look and tell her "To wake me up in the morning of course."
I was dusting off my son's alarm radio and he said to me when he saw it...
You really cleaned my clock, Dad.
I bought a new uranium-based alarm clock last week but it's really quiet...
I thought this stuff was supposed to be radio-active!
For her birthday, I gave my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.
She’s in for a ride awakening.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was a rude awakening.
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