How do janitors scare people?
They jump out of the closet and yell, "Supplies!!"
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︎ Oct 23 2020
How do you scare potatoes?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.'
I asked, 'Which is?'
'Exactly', he replied.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully itβs just semicolon cancer
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︎ Oct 02 2020
How do you scare bees?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you call a truck that scares people?
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︎ Oct 10 2020
If trigonometry scares you...
Just call out for your guardian angle.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
My dad gave me standing instructions to not scare him on halloween
Well, it is invalid as I was sitting.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What does everyone scares from terry?
Because he is terry-fying
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︎ Oct 01 2020
The red scare
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︎ May 08 2020
The thought of baking scares me
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︎ Jun 22 2020
My 7 year old son had the hiccups and he asked me to scare him
I told him Trump was re-elected for a second term.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
This scares me
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︎ Nov 05 2019
I just heard R. Kelly wants to be released from prison because of the Covid-19 scare.
If it was Covid-15 he would be ok with it.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
I replaced my cats litter with pop rocks to scare the shit out of her
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Try walking up behind someone and scare them
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︎ Mar 24 2020
How do ghosts remember who to scare?
Theyβre using a to-boo list.
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︎ Oct 05 2019
What did the exponent say to scare the number?
"you should be *squared*."
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Where do ghosts go to scare away all of the insects?
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︎ Oct 13 2019
What did the sad ghost say to scare the man
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︎ Sep 06 2019
How do you scare a panda bear?
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︎ Dec 19 2019
Being a scare crow isn't for everyone
But Hay... it's in my jeans
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︎ Oct 02 2019
Apparently I snore so loudly That it scares everyone in the car I'm driving
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︎ Jul 11 2019
My Dad literary banged on the toilet window and shouted, "Did I scare the shit outta ya?"
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︎ Jun 16 2019
You know what animal scares me the most?
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︎ Oct 18 2019
The alphabet scares me.
βA bee sea?β
No thank you. Iβll just stop you right there.
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︎ Jul 28 2019
Grandpa: βDonβt scare me, Iβm a heart patient.β
βIf you scare me, Iβll never talk to you again.β
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︎ Oct 28 2019
My son jumped out from behind a door and yelled βboo!β He asked, βDid I scare you?β
I said, βNo. But Was that your ghoul?β
He just groaned.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul. Paul: Werewolves Nina: Sharks Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.
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︎ Sep 07 2019
How do you scare a Pokemon?
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︎ Apr 05 2019
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By learning ventriloquism.
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︎ Jul 07 2019
The Bible scares the hell out of me
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︎ Jan 02 2017
My girlfriend and I are having a pregnancy scare, and she's better prepared to be a father than I am.
Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen, she said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the slyest look I've ever seen.
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︎ Nov 22 2016
What type of plant hits people before it scares people?
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︎ Aug 06 2018
I was trying to pick my favorite scare from a haunted house...
But nothing really jumped out at me
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︎ Apr 27 2019
Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.
They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.
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︎ Feb 05 2019
What do you call an egg dessert that keeps coming back to scare you?
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︎ Apr 19 2019
My grandma had a health scare while playing Bingo with her friends.
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︎ Mar 21 2019
Once you scare the noble gases...
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︎ Jan 26 2018
My girlfriend tried to trick me with a pregnancy scare.
She was just ovary acting.
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︎ Oct 19 2017
So a guy decides to scare the living daylights out of some people on the highway....
So, my town has a major highway that runs through it, and a bridge that people can walk over. Well, some guy decides to tie a ball to a string and dangle it over the side of the bridge. That way, any car that goes under the bridge will think they hit something and the guy could have a good laugh. Well, a semi comes through, and the ball gets caught on the mirror. The guy's arm gets ripped clean off, and he's sent to the hospital right away. The truck driver gets pulled over as he's passing through another town. The arm is still dangling from the mirror. The truck driver is then arrested, for armed robbery. (Badum-tsss) (Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to get 3 whole karma for this one.)
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︎ Aug 15 2018
How do Pandas Scare Each Other?
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︎ Apr 01 2018
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
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︎ Oct 28 2017
How do you scare a Panda?
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︎ Jun 22 2019
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