How do janitors scare people?

They jump out of the closet and yell, "Supplies!!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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How do you scare potatoes?

You terrifry them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ejayviera
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.'

I asked, 'Which is?'

'Exactly', he replied.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dogpicsrandomthreads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/middleraged
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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How do you scare bees?

Boobies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-pennyworth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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What do you call a truck that scares people?

A frightliner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoofieDog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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If trigonometry scares you...

Just call out for your guardian angle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Select-Atmosphere110
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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My dad gave me standing instructions to not scare him on halloween

Well, it is invalid as I was sitting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/naiivekid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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What does everyone scares from terry?

Because he is terry-fying

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OshriM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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The red scare
πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FBI_03
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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The thought of baking scares me

It’s just too whisky

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DugletFactory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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My 7 year old son had the hiccups and he asked me to scare him

I told him Trump was re-elected for a second term.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kgold0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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This scares me
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Specimen9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2019
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I just heard R. Kelly wants to be released from prison because of the Covid-19 scare.

If it was Covid-15 he would be ok with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xxtzimiscexx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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I replaced my cats litter with pop rocks to scare the shit out of her

Litterally

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SenpaiRemling
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2019
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Try walking up behind someone and scare them

They wont see it coming

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DarthHelmetsAssholes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
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How do ghosts remember who to scare?

They’re using a to-boo list.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StevlandJudkins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2019
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What did the exponent say to scare the number?

"you should be *squared*."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sciencefrog551
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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Where do ghosts go to scare away all of the insects?

Boo-da-pest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2019
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What did the sad ghost say to scare the man

Blue

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mingled-with-pringle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
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How do you scare a panda bear?

With BamBOO

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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Being a scare crow isn't for everyone

But Hay... it's in my jeans

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2019
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Apparently I snore so loudly That it scares everyone in the car I'm driving
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpeedySlothMeh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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My Dad literary banged on the toilet window and shouted, "Did I scare the shit outta ya?"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StaticSyCo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
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You know what animal scares me the most?

A Cari-boo!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2019
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The alphabet scares me.

β€œA bee sea?”

No thank you. I’ll just stop you right there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iwannaholdyour-ham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2019
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Grandpa: β€œDon’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”

β€œIf you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lol_u_ded
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2019
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My son jumped out from behind a door and yelled β€œboo!” He asked, β€œDid I scare you?”

I said, β€œNo. But Was that your ghoul?”

He just groaned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Please_Explain_That
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
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Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul. Paul: Werewolves Nina: Sharks Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.

Catherine: Dylan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2019
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How do you scare a Pokemon?

Say β€œPika Booo”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Baseballmagic505
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2019
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How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By learning ventriloquism.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2019
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The Bible scares the hell out of me
πŸ‘οΈŽ 607
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jake_Kihh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2017
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My girlfriend and I are having a pregnancy scare, and she's better prepared to be a father than I am.

Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen, she said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the slyest look I've ever seen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 332
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArranMars
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2016
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What type of plant hits people before it scares people?

Bamboo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 103
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pointingoutpoop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2018
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I was trying to pick my favorite scare from a haunted house...

But nothing really jumped out at me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2019
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Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.

They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2019
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What do you call an egg dessert that keeps coming back to scare you?

A boo-meringue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DontWantToBeOnReddit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2019
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My grandma had a health scare while playing Bingo with her friends.

It turned out to B9.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2019
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Once you scare the noble gases...

They Argon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zeke_Zurita
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2018
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My girlfriend tried to trick me with a pregnancy scare.

She was just ovary acting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2017
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So a guy decides to scare the living daylights out of some people on the highway....

So, my town has a major highway that runs through it, and a bridge that people can walk over. Well, some guy decides to tie a ball to a string and dangle it over the side of the bridge. That way, any car that goes under the bridge will think they hit something and the guy could have a good laugh. Well, a semi comes through, and the ball gets caught on the mirror. The guy's arm gets ripped clean off, and he's sent to the hospital right away. The truck driver gets pulled over as he's passing through another town. The arm is still dangling from the mirror. The truck driver is then arrested, for armed robbery. (Badum-tsss) (Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to get 3 whole karma for this one.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DreamerLostInThought
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2018
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How do Pandas Scare Each Other?

With Bam....

Boo!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lie-Skiereski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2018
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I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."

He asked, "Which is?"

I replied, "Exactly!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2017
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How do you scare a Panda?

With a piece of bamBOO!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dmed24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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