How do janitors scare people?

They jump out of the closet and yell, "Supplies!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you scare potatoes?

You terrifry them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejayviera
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.'

I asked, 'Which is?'

'Exactly', he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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There's only one thing that scares me about Halloween
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/middleraged
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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How do you scare bees?

Boobies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-pennyworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a truck that scares people?

A frightliner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoofieDog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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If trigonometry scares you...

Just call out for your guardian angle.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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My dad gave me standing instructions to not scare him on halloween

Well, it is invalid as I was sitting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naiivekid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What does everyone scares from terry?

Because he is terry-fying

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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The red scare
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_03
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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The thought of baking scares me

It’s just too whisky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DugletFactory
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My 7 year old son had the hiccups and he asked me to scare him

I told him Trump was re-elected for a second term.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgold0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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This scares me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Specimen9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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I just heard R. Kelly wants to be released from prison because of the Covid-19 scare.

If it was Covid-15 he would be ok with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxtzimiscexx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I replaced my cats litter with pop rocks to scare the shit out of her

Litterally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SenpaiRemling
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Try walking up behind someone and scare them

They wont see it coming

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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How do ghosts remember who to scare?

They’re using a to-boo list.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevlandJudkins
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the exponent say to scare the number?

"you should be *squared*."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sciencefrog551
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do ghosts go to scare away all of the insects?

Boo-da-pest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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What did the sad ghost say to scare the man

Blue

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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How do you scare a panda bear?

With BamBOO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Being a scare crow isn't for everyone

But Hay... it's in my jeans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Apparently I snore so loudly That it scares everyone in the car I'm driving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeedySlothMeh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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My Dad literary banged on the toilet window and shouted, "Did I scare the shit outta ya?"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StaticSyCo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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You know what animal scares me the most?

A Cari-boo!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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The alphabet scares me.

β€œA bee sea?”

No thank you. I’ll just stop you right there.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Grandpa: β€œDon’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”

β€œIf you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lol_u_ded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My son jumped out from behind a door and yelled β€œboo!” He asked, β€œDid I scare you?”

I said, β€œNo. But Was that your ghoul?”

He just groaned.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul. Paul: Werewolves Nina: Sharks Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.

Catherine: Dylan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you scare a Pokemon?

Say β€œPika Booo”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baseballmagic505
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By learning ventriloquism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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The Bible scares the hell out of me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jake_Kihh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I are having a pregnancy scare, and she's better prepared to be a father than I am.

Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen, she said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the slyest look I've ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArranMars
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
What type of plant hits people before it scares people?

Bamboo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pointingoutpoop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I was trying to pick my favorite scare from a haunted house...

But nothing really jumped out at me

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.

They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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What do you call an egg dessert that keeps coming back to scare you?

A boo-meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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My grandma had a health scare while playing Bingo with her friends.

It turned out to B9.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Once you scare the noble gases...

They Argon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeke_Zurita
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend tried to trick me with a pregnancy scare.

She was just ovary acting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
So a guy decides to scare the living daylights out of some people on the highway....

So, my town has a major highway that runs through it, and a bridge that people can walk over. Well, some guy decides to tie a ball to a string and dangle it over the side of the bridge. That way, any car that goes under the bridge will think they hit something and the guy could have a good laugh. Well, a semi comes through, and the ball gets caught on the mirror. The guy's arm gets ripped clean off, and he's sent to the hospital right away. The truck driver gets pulled over as he's passing through another town. The arm is still dangling from the mirror. The truck driver is then arrested, for armed robbery. (Badum-tsss) (Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to get 3 whole karma for this one.)

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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How do Pandas Scare Each Other?

With Bam....

Boo!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lie-Skiereski
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."

He asked, "Which is?"

I replied, "Exactly!"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you scare a Panda?

With a piece of bamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmed24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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