I got my car horn fixed at a Lion King themed shop called Scar's Auto Body.

Beep repaired.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Furiously honks car horn in the middle of no where without a car in sight.

Kids: looks up from their phones, β€œwhy did you do that for?”

Dad: β€œto scare away the elephants!”

Kids: β€œwhat elephants?!!”

Dad: β€œsee it’s working!”

β€”β€”

Thank you! Thank you very much!

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crewthsr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an expert wine taster from the horn of Africa?

A Somalier

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peva3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t mean to toot my own horn

But sometimes I have trouble getting into the driver’s seat.

πŸ‘︎ 755
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?

Beep Repaired!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmbossman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with horns painted red?

Moocifer

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.

It was a toot and car moon.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like to toot my own horn,

But that's why I'm a terrible trumpet player.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whudaboutit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter put her eye patch on my girlfriend's head like a horn.

Who knew she was able to breed unicornias

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the disease that causes horns, spots, and hooves?

Scientists and doctors agree it's caused by a mootation

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndacyndaquill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unicorn with a corn cob instead of a horn

A punicorn

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooterscadoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My car horn wasn’t working, so I took it to a Boy Scout.

He fixed it and said, β€œBeep repaired”

πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
{air horn sound}

{second air horn sound}

Me: β€œThis isn’t deodorant.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"

"Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck

πŸ‘︎ 205
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconLord14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?

It's called a unicornea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhalesWails
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Japanese bull say just before killing someone with its horns?

Omaewa moo shindeiru

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shameless_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a cow’s car horn sounds like?

Beef beef

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unicorn with its horn cut off?

A eunuchorn

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grammatikaas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the point of a Narwhal's horn?

The tip of it

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Punniest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If a unicorn is a horse with one horn...

a horse with zero horns is an acorn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tripoblast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If ants had horns what will they be called?

antlers..

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dullbrowny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unicorn with no horn?

A eunuch-corn.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you call horns for insects?

Ant-lers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate to toot my own horn, but.....

Traffic is horrible!!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joe2u2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Seismologists predict a 9.2 magnitude earthquake will hit the Horn of Africa region.

It will really shake Djibouti.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Historyguy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad’s horse grew a horn out of its forehead after it ate this strange mutant maize.

It was a real unique corn.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve been learning to play a Ram’s Horn.

Shofar so good.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jefferyt51
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The scoutmaster and the mechanic (probably heard before) What did the mechanic say to the scoutmaster when he fixed the horn on his car?

Beep repaired!

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooterscuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the Boy Scout say after he fixed his dad's car horn?

"Beep repaired."

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Grabbed the Bull by the Horns. imgur.com/BVWkRJa
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dajachiz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2015
🚨︎ report
What did Scar say after he fixed his car horn?

BEEP REPAIRED

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pickelsurprise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a single French Horn playing Star Wars?

A French Han Solo

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dvp416
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Unicorn without the horn?

A Eunuchorn

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MashedHair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm taking lessons to be a substitute horn player at a local synagogue

Shofar, so good.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
🚨︎ report
We just heard a fire engine speeding down the road blaring sirens and honking the horn

"He's not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
🚨︎ report
I have this nurse shark trophy with Chicago Bulls horns.

I call it the Bull-shark. My bro told me I should take the tags off the horns, I told him, "Nah, leave 'em on, I want people to know he's fresh." True Story.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Not to toot my own horn but...

Honk!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Muffinman54lit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?" "Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, but it's not your turn Scooby!"

πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconLord1401
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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