Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...

It’s quite the CoNunDrum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackJones2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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My friend the pistol salesman joined a percussion group

He has his own Glock n’ spiel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aphex-Puddle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Why are percussion players so popular?

They know how to drum up support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My friend told me i couldn't make a percussion-like sound by moving my fingers against each other

That's when i snapped

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yri03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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A friend of mine is trying to find the definition of a percussion instrument.

I told him "Beats me; I have no idea."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlipperyRoads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I’ve been getting into avant garde percussion lately

thats stuff hits different

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slothwithahammer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I got given a percussion instrument by the Church of Scientology

Took it home. My wife can't believe she's now living with an international sect cymbal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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My son thought percussion was easy

I told him it's not that cymbal

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunshine5403
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Percussion sucks

But then again most other instruments blow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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I created a YouTube channel where I (soflty) use my dog as a percussive instrument.

The channel is called "Heavy Petting."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fckmeelmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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What happened when the drummer broke the rules?

He suffered the re-percussions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BisexualPangolin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Coming in 2020

A new coding bootcamp, featuring international percussion ensembles, sponsored by former vice president and climate change activist behind An Inconvenient Truth.

"Al Gore Rhythm"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkaholic415
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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What two areas of school sound like a delicious pastry when put together?

Percussion Pi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rslashhuman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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If you yell, β€œEncore!” at the end of a drum line performance...

... be ready to deal with the re-percussions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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My friend got beaten by his neighbour for playing the drums over and over again.

I guess he didn't realise the re-percussions of his actions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Never forward an email about drums

Unless you're able to handle the Re: Percussion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spisakmc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Which instruments have a bad potty mouth?

The perCUSSion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinbluecolor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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[REQUEST] Username Pun

Hi guys, I need to change my username online (mostly used in games) as it's not really something unique ( came from a book I read when I was younger ).

I'm trying to find something quite funny, with plays on words for example. But english isn't my native language and I find it quite hard ! So I'm asking you guys to help me :) You're the best for that imho !

If you could help me find something mixing music (percussions/drums), sciences (my field of study, physics to be more precise), beer and animals maybe (?) (because I like that !)

I think this is possible to find something using some science-specific noun and something else. But I can't seem to find one that suits me :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRD-dat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Wife just threw this one at me

(Our kid's name is Pascal)

I think if Pascal becomes a musician, he's going to have to play percussion. That way, he can play Pascal's Triangle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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