A pirate's favorite musical instrument is...

... the lute!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The trombone... Wait... something isn’t right. They don’t have no lungs. So it has to be... the bonegos.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument can be detrimental to your health?

A harmonica.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.

It was a grand piano.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If you remove all musical instruments from a church

Is it disorganised?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is the most depressed?

The sigh-low-phone.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Saxophone might be considered as the sexiest musical instrument

but there is nothing sounds more horny than brass

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r96340
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad is really excited that I play the same musical instrument he does. I'm not sure if it's worth it,

since he calls me "Tuba Good In Junior"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjustingraham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The musical saw is the most challenging instrument

They’re always a bit sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

The xylobone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobody2401
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not allowed within 500 yards of a musical instrument.

I'm a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noahmancometh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus. He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play...

One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.

The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.

There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.

The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.

Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.

The octopus took it and stared for a bit.

After a minute or two the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.

This man paid his $50 and sat down.

The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bag pipes.

The bartender said, β€œI’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.”

The man agreed and handed them to the octopus.

The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite awhile.

The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, β€œHurry up and start playing the thing”

The octopus spewed, β€œPlay it?! I wanna marry her!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a slutty musical instrument?

A whorgan

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex used to hit me with musical instruments.

I didn't know she had a history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wwchopper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Are musical instruments therapeutic?

Well, accordion to science

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent study, you can replace one word with the name of a musical instrument without anybody noticing.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a sheep's favorite musical instrument?

A ewekelele.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Achieving world peace is simple. Just burn all musical instruments.

Then there will finally be no violins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutoCommenter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the most macho musical instrument?

MANdolin

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
On musical instruments.

My friend, Joe plays the guitar pretty well, so I told him, "Joe, you play the guitar pretty well. Have you ever been in a banjo?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnbull1a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you say to a German man who sneezed because his musical instrument is too small for him?

Kazoo tight

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HispanicTaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
"I've never played a musical instrument. Only the didgeridoo."

"But dad, the didgeridoo is an instrument..."

"Yes son, but it isn't musical."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Pokemon that plays musical instruments?

A Mew-sician

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
🚨︎ report
What is a politicians favorite musical instrument?

The lyre...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dnoldbzz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
My 12 year old just came up with this one. What's the President' s favorite musical instrument?

A Trump-et.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandman_tn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Weird Al bought his daughter a musical instrument

Its all going accordian to his plan

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/airhogg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ordinarybloke1963
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreninjaTube
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hgbleackley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
🚨︎ report

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