I’d never let my children watch the orchestra.
There is too much sax and violins in it
As an orchestra conductor, I could tell when the entire violin section missed the key with no sharps or flats...
I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.
I would hate for them to resort to violins.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
How does an orchestra keep in contact with each other?
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra
There's too much sax and violins
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver
I’ll never let my children watch the orchestra
There’s way too much sax and violins
what do you call an orchestra on drugs?
The orchestra's performance wad canceled right after the last rehearsal was done.
It was quite disconcerting to everyone.
Why did the orchestra loose its tv contract?
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?
Because he's a poor conductor
I disapprove of symphony orchestras.
Too much sax and violins.
An underperforming orchestra was playing in an open field when lightning struck its musical director. Luckily, he survived.
He was quite a bad conductor
What happened when Moses walked through an Orchestra?
The parting of the reed sea
What do you call a snake in charge of the philharmonic orchestra?
I'm never gonna let my kids watch the orchestra.
There's just too much sax and violins.
I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.
I heard every symphony has a first chair.
Who is the coolest most relaxed member of the orchestra?
I'm starting a minimalist orchestra.
It's just like a regular orchestra but without the bells and whistles.
Why won’t I let my kids watch the orchestra play on TV?
Because There’s too much violin-ce
My uncle quit the orchestra after the conductor complained he was out of tune
What fish does an orchestra need before a performance?
My dad got me after my band/orchestra concert last night
important, my family speaks Spanish
After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).
I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"
And my dad replies: "¿Pues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"
TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty
My Wife told me about the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra, apparently they have good Christmas music
I told her I will Czech them out once December comes
I was visiting Bermuda, and went to check out their Philharmonic orchestra.
Half way through, the guy playing the triangle mysteriously disappeared.
What job does the zombie do in an orchestra?
They are the decomposers.
Why was the orchestra rated R?
Because it contained alot of violin
Why’d the criminal turn his back on the orchestra?
He didn’t want to face the music
In an orchestra where does the oboe sit?
Three spots behind the elbow!
Partly electrocuted on stage, her diminished muscle control meant the orchestra had to figure some things out for themselves. What was she?
How do you call a symphony orchestra?
Why should you keep your kids from listening to full orchestra music?
Too much sax and violins.
An orchestra goes to a rock concert.
They leave in disgust, the usher asks what's wrong and they replies: We just can't Handel this.
What do you call a swimming orchestra conductor?
What's the most sensitive part of an orchestra?
I want to start an orchestra named Research
then I could say "I conduct research"
Got a member of a local orchestra GOOD!
Walks by me wheeling one of the timpanis.
"Now THAT's a timpani roll!"
What happened to the boy that cut the orchestra in half?
He became a grounded semiconductor.
The wife showed me a video of C3PO as the conductor of an orchestra.
Me: This is going really well. I guess you could you could say he's a superconductor.
Wife: Go sit in the corner!
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra.
There's too much sax and violins.