As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra! But I quit because . . .
It was just one ting after another.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
My dad was demoted to part time as orchestra conductor due to budget cuts
Now he's a semiconductor.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Listened to orchestra last night.
Listened to Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night.
Halfway through the concert the man playing the triangle disappeared.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
My kid wanted to join the orchestra. I said "sorry, but you're way too young for thatβ¦"
"β¦it has a lot of sax and violins."
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Margaret Atwood new book about a dystopian orchestra
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︎ Sep 06 2020
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra
There's too much sax and violins
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver
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︎ Mar 15 2019
As an orchestra conductor, I could tell when the entire violin section missed the key with no sharps or flats...
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.
I would hate for them to resort to violins.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
How does an orchestra keep in contact with each other?
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︎ Apr 21 2020
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
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︎ Jun 09 2020
what do you call an orchestra on drugs?
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Why did the orchestra loose its tv contract?
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︎ Aug 02 2019
The orchestra's performance wad canceled right after the last rehearsal was done.
It was quite disconcerting to everyone.
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︎ Dec 14 2019
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?
Because he's a poor conductor
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︎ Sep 24 2019
I disapprove of symphony orchestras.
Too much sax and violins.
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︎ Oct 02 2019
An underperforming orchestra was playing in an open field when lightning struck its musical director. Luckily, he survived.
He was quite a bad conductor
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︎ Oct 30 2019
What happened when Moses walked through an Orchestra?
The parting of the reed sea
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︎ Sep 10 2019
What do you call a snake in charge of the philharmonic orchestra?
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︎ Aug 09 2019
I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.
I heard every symphony has a first chair.
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︎ May 11 2019
Who is the coolest most relaxed member of the orchestra?
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︎ Jun 23 2019
I'm starting a minimalist orchestra.
It's just like a regular orchestra but without the bells and whistles.
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︎ Sep 19 2018
My dad got me after my band/orchestra concert last night
important, my family speaks Spanish
After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).
I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"
And my dad replies: "ΒΏPues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"
TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty
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︎ Dec 10 2014
Why wonβt I let my kids watch the orchestra play on TV?
Because Thereβs too much violin-ce
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︎ Mar 17 2019
My uncle quit the orchestra after the conductor complained he was out of tune
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︎ Jan 01 2019
What fish does an orchestra need before a performance?
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︎ Nov 17 2018
My Wife told me about the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra, apparently they have good Christmas music
I told her I will Czech them out once December comes
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︎ Nov 09 2018
I was visiting Bermuda, and went to check out their Philharmonic orchestra.
Half way through, the guy playing the triangle mysteriously disappeared.
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︎ Nov 05 2018
What job does the zombie do in an orchestra?
They are the decomposers.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
Why was the orchestra rated R?
Because it contained alot of violin
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︎ Mar 26 2017
Partly electrocuted on stage, her diminished muscle control meant the orchestra had to figure some things out for themselves. What was she?
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︎ Mar 02 2016
Whyβd the criminal turn his back on the orchestra?
He didnβt want to face the music
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︎ Mar 17 2018
Why should you keep your kids from listening to full orchestra music?
Too much sax and violins.
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︎ Jul 10 2015
In an orchestra where does the oboe sit?
Three spots behind the elbow!
π︎ 19
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︎ Apr 28 2017
How do you call a symphony orchestra?
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 25 2016
What do you call a swimming orchestra conductor?
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 08 2015
An orchestra goes to a rock concert.
They leave in disgust, the usher asks what's wrong and they replies: We just can't Handel this.
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︎ Jan 31 2018
I want to start an orchestra named Research
then I could say "I conduct research"
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︎ Sep 21 2015
What's the most sensitive part of an orchestra?
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︎ May 27 2016
Got a member of a local orchestra GOOD!
Walks by me wheeling one of the timpanis.
"Now THAT's a timpani roll!"
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︎ Apr 21 2015
What happened to the boy that cut the orchestra in half?
He became a grounded semiconductor.
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︎ Nov 03 2016
The wife showed me a video of C3PO as the conductor of an orchestra.
Me: This is going really well. I guess you could you could say he's a superconductor.
Wife: Go sit in the corner!
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︎ Dec 20 2015
What did the Conductor say to his orchestra?
This performance will be electric
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︎ Nov 06 2016
Iβd never let my children watch the orchestra.
There is too much sax and violins in it
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︎ May 11 2020
Iβll never let my children watch the orchestra
Thereβs way too much sax and violins
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︎ Dec 14 2019
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra.
There's too much sax and violins.
π︎ 62
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︎ Dec 12 2019
I'm never gonna let my kids watch the orchestra.
There's just too much sax and violins.
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︎ Jul 16 2019
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