If you are ever working on being more decisive and find yourself wanting to get a tuba, a trombone, and a round-bottomed dish - but you can only afford two of them and the dish will fit under your shirt - just remember:

Take the bowl, buy the horns .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I used to play more trombone

Now I really let it slide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenSquid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Who would win a fight between a flute and a trombone

The flute woodwind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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What did the trombone dad say to his son?

Don’t get into any treble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/olivewitharhyme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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TIL: A human fart could be louder than a trombone.

I wish I didn’t learn that fact during my daughter’s school concert.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye Matey.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwissCheeto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What's the favourite instrument of a skeleton?

A xilobone! (Bet you thought about a trombone Huh)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uiltje16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What bone does a musician break?

His trombone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rekker_dekker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.

I'd hate to toot my own horn.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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What’s a skeletons favourite instrument?

The trombone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/subhi2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

The xylobone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobody2401
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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A pun

What's a skeletons favorite instrument? You may be thinking trombone but... It's a saxobone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iexist829
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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We need more spooky puns

So lets all make a skeleTON of puns while i play the tromBONE and send chills down their SPINE. Those where just examples as they were tibial puns, but it might have been enough to hit your funny bone. So lets all bone our punny puns and take a crack at making spooky jokes. Remember to make more spooky puns today or you will be the one with no backbone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoatNoodles1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Genius.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomneeess
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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What is made out of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clarknova77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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What inatrument does a skeleton like to play?

A trombone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stenlang
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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What is a skeletons favorite instrument?

A xylobone.

Edit: Fixed logic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Warhola
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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What’s made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cariad_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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What bone does a dog not eat?

A trombone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marekatrek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
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What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A trombone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Future_Tyrant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Yesterday before marching a parade.

A member of my section drops their trombone and says: "Today is really getting off on the right foot."

Me: "No you start on your left."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonArc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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I once saw a really hot musician.

I had a trombone soon after.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awanby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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Do you play a musical instrument?

Well, I used to play the trombone but I let it slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knoth3ad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
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This one was real sweet

My wife was making pancakes and she asked me to get out and warm up some maple syrup. As I started looking around for a receptacle and method to warm it up, she said:

W: Didn't we get a little pourer?

Me: Gosh no, I think our overall income has gone up, why?

Sad Trombone: Sad Trombones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmyjames78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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Cheat sheet for Dads on Halloween

What is a Vampire favorite fruit?

  • Neckterines

What kind of dogs do Vampires like best?

  • Blood hounds

How does a ghost cry?

  • Boo Hoo

What does a skeleton always say before he eats?

  • Bone Appetite

What kind of key should you always take to a haunted house?

  • Skeleton Key

Why do Vampires need mouthwash?

  • Because they have bat breath

What kinds of street do Zombies like?

  • Dead ends.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

  • Frost Bite

What did the black cat call the mouse on roller skates?

  • Meals on wheels

What does a vampire never at a restaurant?

  • A stake sandwich

What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?

  • It's a pain in the neck.

Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?

  • To give a Screech

What does a ghosts have for dessert?

  • I-Scream

What is a skeletons favorite instrument?

  • A trombone

What kind of dog does a mad scientist have?

  • A Lab

Be honest, how many did you get? What is your dad score?

EDIT: can't get spoiler

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnolaum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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"Do you play any instruments?" he says to a friend

"Tuba and Trombone" my friend says back and he astonishingly responds "AT THE SAME TIME?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pandemonium7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2014
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My dad was ordering music for me online...

I had a church service that I needed to order the music for. I was explaining to my dad just what needed to be ordered. I play Trombone, and naturally needed music in Bass Clef. So he asks me about the clef and I told him I needed Bass Clef.

He goes..."You sure you don't need Trout or Halibut clef?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilkes-kun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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A Cleverly Named Trio

I saw a music recital at school and a trombone trio came up. There were two members named Sam and in the middle of the trio was a man named Miles. Miles said the group's name was "A Miles Samwich."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/italian6th
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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My friend's Dad Joke tale

My friend (a girl) was texting her BF (who plays the trombone). This is the conversation:

Her: Hey, wanna come over tonight ;)

Him: Shall I bring my music knowledge?

Her: Why would that matter?

Him: Because I know how to bone in 7 different positions ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numbah25
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

A trombone.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RetroKev1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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What is made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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