No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...

β€œI play a little guitar!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What do you call a group of whales play instruments?

An Orcastra

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What instrument do fishermen play?

castanets!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/softstone1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.

But they are a major second.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I once knew this guy who hated all high-range instruments.

He was a huge bassist.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a tuba glue.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlockyShapes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...

It's a regular penacea!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.

It was a grand piano.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which instrument do they play at the white house?

A trumpet

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NatureGuy45
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the favourite instrument of a skeleton?

A xilobone! (Bet you thought about a trombone Huh)

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uiltje16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I paid to get my leg amputated and they use blunt instruments....it was a total rip off.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey-D-Danos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Had a large keyboard instrument with pipes that I gave for free to my local church.

Always proud to be an organ donor.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Favorite instrument of the dyslexic ghost?

The Obo

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lockstocks85
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What do you clean a band instrument with?

A tuba glue

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rekker_dekker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What instrument do fishes play?

The guitartar

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burnallthebooks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What rock group has 4 guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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If you remove all musical instruments from a church

Is it disorganised?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?

It's a conundrum!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I play instruments for my church one day I got really sick...

I went to the doctor he said I was missing an organ.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is the most depressed?

The sigh-low-phone.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Amazon should change rating on music instrument category to 4 stars

So i can give them 4/4

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What is a skeletons favourite instrument?

The xyloBONE!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty78644
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex used to hit me with a stringed instrument every day.

If only i had known about her history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?

$5,318,008

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the name of the great actor, who also quietly plays an instrument?

Piano Reeves

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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What’s a sheep’s favorite instrument?

Two-baaaas

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrick23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A man only plays his instrument when alone

Accordion to himself, he’s great

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/double_tap_00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What instrument do skeletons play?

Xylobones

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupermanFSF
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a clam learn to play an instrument?

Mussel memory!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rougetoad49
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an influencer who makes videos about brass instruments?

A Youtuba

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titelbech
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Saxophone might be considered as the sexiest musical instrument

but there is nothing sounds more horny than brass

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r96340
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad is really excited that I play the same musical instrument he does. I'm not sure if it's worth it,

since he calls me "Tuba Good In Junior"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjustingraham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A drumset is a very deep instrument

It's full of cymballism.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Malgus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's the best at installing covers for the instrument panels in automobiles

The Car Dashians.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Pythagoras' favorite instrument?

A triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpheliasGarden
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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I'm watching a video from Wintergatan where he plays a homemade instrument that works using marbles.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_ScratchKat_03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a skeletons favourite instrument?

The trombone

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/subhi2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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