Amazon should change rating on music instrument category to 4 stars

So i can give them 4/4

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24
🚨︎ report
What instrument does a fish play?

A bass

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J87409
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16
🚨︎ report
My ex used to hit me with a stringed instrument every day.

If only i had known about her history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What is a skeletons favourite instrument?

The xyloBONE!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty78644
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What’s a sheep’s favorite instrument?

Two-baaaas

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrick23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?

$5,318,008

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What is the name of the great actor, who also quietly plays an instrument?

Piano Reeves

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
A man only plays his instrument when alone

Accordion to himself, he’s great

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/double_tap_00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
How does a clam learn to play an instrument?

Mussel memory!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rougetoad49
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
My Dad is really excited that I play the same musical instrument he does. I'm not sure if it's worth it,

since he calls me "Tuba Good In Junior"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjustingraham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call an influencer who makes videos about brass instruments?

A Youtuba

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titelbech
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument do skeletons play?

Xylobones

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SupermanFSF
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Saxophone might be considered as the sexiest musical instrument

but there is nothing sounds more horny than brass

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/r96340
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
A drumset is a very deep instrument

It's full of cymballism.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Malgus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Who's the best at installing covers for the instrument panels in automobiles

The Car Dashians.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a skeletons favourite instrument?

The trombone

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/subhi2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Pythagoras' favorite instrument?

A triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OpheliasGarden
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was surprised when the present I got my wife for Christmas wasn't an instrument

...I told him I was giving her an upright organ

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rage_JD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the surgeon's favorite instrument?

The organ

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bisc8-Capitalista
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm watching a video from Wintergatan where he plays a homemade instrument that works using marbles.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_ScratchKat_03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

The xylobone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobody2401
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Everytime the harpist struck a C chord, it was like they were playing a different instrument..

It was a harp-C-chord.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-neurosis-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The musical saw is the most challenging instrument

They’re always a bit sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woodwind instrument made of brass that only speaks English?

An anglosaxophone

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is trying to find the definition of a percussion instrument.

I told him "Beats me; I have no idea."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlipperyRoads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My band mate keeps accusing me off hiding her instrument

I swear, it's all bassless claims!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mixttime
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an avacado's favorite instrument?

The guacenspiel.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcthe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not allowed within 500 yards of a musical instrument.

I'm a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noahmancometh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a girl who can play a wooden instrument developed by indigenous Australians.

I dig her, I do.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coop0606
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus. He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play...

One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.

The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.

There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.

The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.

Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.

The octopus took it and stared for a bit.

After a minute or two the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.

This man paid his $50 and sat down.

The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bag pipes.

The bartender said, β€œI’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.”

The man agreed and handed them to the octopus.

The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite awhile.

The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, β€œHurry up and start playing the thing”

The octopus spewed, β€œPlay it?! I wanna marry her!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ordinarybloke1963
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I get very aggressive when I'm forced to play certain stringed instruments

Don't make me use violins.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

A trombone.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RetroKev1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was beaten with stringed instruments?

It was a brutal act of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite writing instrument
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Are musical instruments therapeutic?

Well, accordion to science

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreninjaTube
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a slutty musical instrument?

A whorgan

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument do you play with your foot?

The Soxaphone.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Brahms' instrument has a flaw?

It's Baroquen

Sorry fellow dads don't know a better way to phrase this feel free to repost if you have a better way of saying it

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nscherer923
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument do Australian's play in Israel?

A didgerijew

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.

I guess you could call it my minstrel period.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BingSerious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who told me he collects large ancient Greek instruments in his free time

What a massive lyre

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bertmaclin69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I was carrying my ukulele around in its case and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?"

I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtDonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Guitars are the most depressed instruments

They're always getting picked on.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bexican
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the best instrument to fall on you?

Piano because it's the softest!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shmalden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the musician shout before he dropped his woodwind instrument?

Timbre

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s an honest person’s least favorite instrument?

The lyre

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chakasicle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy beating somebody up with a string instrument, so I intervened.

I said to him, β€œViolin is not the answer.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of whales playing instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/proudbastionmain
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Which instrument is the most indecisive?

The p-yeah-no

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/southmax
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.

I heard every symphony has a first chair.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument does a ghost like to play?

The didgeriboo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stenlang
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What instrument hates coffee?

A Banjo

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglyquigley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a locksmith's favorite instrument?

A keyboard.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A lieutenant of a marching band had lost his piccolo, he went to a music instrument-store and asked for a piccolo

The store keeper said that they ran out of stock of piccolos but he could rent out a flute, the lieutenant agreed promptly.

After the performance the lieutenant came back to the store to return the flute. The store keeper asked if he was the flute tenant

No I am the lieutenant

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minecraftkoolkidz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats a stoners favorite instrument?

bonggos

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrLinnerd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My ex-girlfriend used to beat me with stringed instruments.

I didn’t know she had a history with Violins.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Teeter925
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Is Mayonaise an instrument?

Context

https://preview.redd.it/nftfc81x97621.jpg?width=773&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4f05e96613369d2d3f7b97316752ddc83d52bcc

Found in here.

Saw it and laughed hard and needed more people to see it. Go over there and give the guy the Karma he deserves

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Graf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My new favorite instrument is Steel Drums

Because even when they're broken, they're steel drums

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shane_mckenzie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
(X-post) You can't trust Greek instruments.

They're known lyres.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a skeletons favorite instrument?

A tromBONE! ☠

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My ex-girlfriend used to beat me with stringed instruments...

She seemed nice to start, with no history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of musicians who stole all their instruments?

Bandits.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fwafy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the pirate's favourite instrument?

The guit-arr.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Best instrument
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BossRediter87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I created a YouTube channel where I (soflty) use my dog as a percussive instrument.

The channel is called "Heavy Petting."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fckmeelmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend claims that he can do a circumcision without using surgical instruments.

I don’t think he’ll be able to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a psychic instrument?

A clairvoyanet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmeACEEE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bustab0x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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