Absolute mother lode of guitar puns v.redd.it/lz2uw7l5pan11
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/czarofel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Netcob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2009
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Some guy just threatened to attack me with a neck of a guitar.

I said "Is that a fret?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

Because he fingered A Minor

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryryryn0
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Why can't Woody play his guitar?

He doesn't know where his Pixar.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pewper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
I really like guitars

They just strike a chord with me

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I wanted to play guitar really badly.

And after lots of hard work and practice, I now play the guitar really badly.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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I was whipping up some pesto when I realized I was out of an herb to add flavor. Luckily, my son's guitar was handy....

I was able to add some bass-il to my tasty sauce.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Guitar

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her, "First offender?" She replies, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sani-tarium
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who named his guitar Provolone.

Whenever he played, he shredded cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DurgalBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
My guitar is kind of slutty...

It always has a tight G string

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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I was having trouble playing a song on guitar and my teacher said "practice to a tick"

It didn't work at all and now I have Lyme disease

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/disintegore
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
What's a guitar player's favourite brand of computer?

Asus

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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What do you call a member of law enforcement who likes to show people his skills on the Guitar?

A share riff.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I’m learning guitar and I asked my dad if he had any song requests..

He replied, β€œCan you play far far away?”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oPlutoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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From my 6yr old: Whats a guitar’s favorite cheese?

String cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvanOrton22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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My friend found a sturdy piece of lumber to place within his guitar to improve the vibrations...

It was a soundboard

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fish, guitar, and a pot of glue?

β€œYou can tune a guitar but you can’t tune a fish”

β€œWhat about the pot of glue”

β€œI knew you’d get stuck on that”

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InstaMemesBad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Colonel Sanders started playing classical guitar.

It's finger pickin' good.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulkan13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Guitar Classes

Only place where you can learn to finger A minor!!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faix_pass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Someone just told me they were going to smack me with the neck of their guitar.

I said, β€œis that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
I place guitar picks on unsuspecting people

I'm a pickpocket

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy55514
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ex-Vice President that plays Guitar Hero?

An Al-Gore-Rhythm

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killmore22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I tried to play guitar with my friend, but he wouldn’t stop showing off how much better he is.

He really struck a chord with me.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What’s the holiest guitar chord?

Gsus.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
I broke my hand last week, at the hospital thinking it was permanently damaged, I asked the Doctor if I’d be able to play guitar. He replied β€œYes, after you’ve taken time to heal”

I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to know how to play.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reptarticle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Decided to help my friend restring his guitar, I have no regrets
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dakuejji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the best chords to use when playing air guitar?

Vocal chords

Courtesy of my wife!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SETHlUS
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
I busted my guitar up but I’ll give it to you for free.

Really. No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What's God's favorite guitar chord?

Gsus7

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrishWake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why did the guitar player have to give up playing after the traffic accident?

It was a fender bender.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
My friends got together to play electric guitar, but the distance from the wall to their axes was too great...

Luckily, they had a power chord.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.

After decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.

I can play guitar very badly.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cows call miniature guitars?

Moo-kulele

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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My dad is learning to play guitar
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ieatchipotle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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*guitar solo*
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Holiday_Volume
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally dropped my buddy's guitar yesterday and it put a hole in my floor

Had no idea it was a heavy metal guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LadenStarfish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
So I found a pebble that looked like a guitar pick...

I told my girlfriend it was for rock music

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamPfaff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: If you make another lame joke I’ll hit you with the neck of my guitar.

Dad: Is that a fret?

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmarkcha117
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Quick aside. If admiral ackbar contracted a minnow-scule amount of salmon-ella poisson-ing while tuna-ing his guitar on his carp-et, would he instead need to use his bass tonight?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does everyone like the guitar more than the bass?

It’s more of a BASSic instrument!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DirtyFuzeMain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the guitar on probation?

He was a SexOFender

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Hexer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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An air guitar
πŸ‘︎ 709
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trepach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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I bought a guitar made out of diamond.

Now I can play some hard rock.

πŸ‘︎ 380
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamieLaineRose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't bass players like dating guitar players?

Too much treble

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lauti197
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My guitar seems to be tuned a bit flat
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the guitar teacher say to the frustrated beginner?

Don't fret.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saturnian42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CormacN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I know. It’s not actually a bass guitar
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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I used to hate my guitar lessons

I always fretted going to them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fr34k_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Fixed my low-toned guitar today...

...Finally got to the base of the problem.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaofShells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said β€œIs that a fret”

πŸ‘︎ 692
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar

No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I always write sad music with my guitar

I guess that's why the call it a fretboard

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman beat her husband to death with his guitar....

It was assault with a medley weapon!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hey_mcfly27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the radio host say to their guitar every night?

Stay tuned!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to impress my friends, so I learned how to improve my guitar skills.

It was A Major task but I can only C Minor improvement.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealJeemboo
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What equipment did the Pink Panther need to run all of his guitars?

Ten amps. Ten amps. Ten amps, ten amps, ten amps, ten amps, ten aaammmps.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day...

Teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
You can pick a guitar, but you cant Piccalilli.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/9ine0ne0ne
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I have been learning to play the guitar...

It plays an instrumental role in my recovery.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/um0da
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm here to model underwear and play guitar

And buddy, my last G-string just broke

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gansmaltz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone ran up to me and said they would hit me with a guitar

I said β€œis that a fret”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman appears in court, accused of attacking her husband with guitars..

The judge asks, β€œFirst offender?” β€œNo,” she replies, β€œFirst, a Gibson. Second, a Fender.”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Llovely7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
air guitar strings
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieG4mer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.

He's known as "the Fender bender".

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Free air guitar to first person to contact me

No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When Archie's fiancee put her engagement ring near her ear, she could faintly hear guitars, maracas, and soothing Spanish vocals.

It was a marry Archie band.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Some jerk said he was going to hit me with his guitar ! I said is that a fret?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XDADDYTHRASHERX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Guitars are the most depressed instruments

They're always getting picked on.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bexican
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife likes to crochet and play guitar.

She's a real knit picker.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my father if he could leave his guitar collection to my children when he passes

He said that's music to his heirs

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhaddaPizzaChit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A buddy of mine makes dick-shaped guitar picks, thought ya'll would enjoy his "Dick Picks" ;) youtu.be/Vm4hCYAvYuo
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruskitskit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Nintendo is going to make a Queen-inspired Guitar Hero?

Its going to be called Wii Will Rock You.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dewmangroup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was tuning a guitar. While doing this one of the stings snapped in half perfectly. I took one half and stretched It out. I managed to get it on. One problem though. As soon as I played it shot straight to the ceiling.

I’d never heard or seen such a high note.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blueparasites
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the guitar player make his car go faster?

He used the boost pedal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Frickin_GotG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the guitar instructor go to prison?

He fingered a minor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my friends that I hate people who play the guitar that makes deep noises.

I don't know why they're all calling me a bassist now..

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaarlicbread
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Guitar Classes

Only place where you can learn to finger A minor

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faix_pass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asksΒ her, "First offender?” She says, β€œNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac33111133
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

The judge asks, β€œFirst offender?” The wife replies, β€œNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says "first offender?" She says,

No, first a Gibson, then a fender

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sykadelik_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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