I believe that orchestral music is inappropriate for kids.

There’s too much sax and violins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cigarandcreamsoda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Since they are filming Spider-Man 3 near my house, I thought I’d write the lead actor an orchestral piece...

I think I’ll call it β€œMr. Holland’s Opus”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What do you call a sick group of orchestral singers

Out of OPERAtion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvisibleDashing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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One for the orchestral dads: What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?

Buy a frugelhorn

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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If the Red Cross did an orchestral fundraising event...

They could call it The Big Band Aid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChesterMonty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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My College Internship Almost Ruined My Life

I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.

When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.

The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.

Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.

After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.

Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.

Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!

I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instrumentsβ€”but it sure might be sheep or goat.

Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.

I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.

I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????

So I fucking called the museum

got the guy who interviewed me on the lineβ€”and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?

He said, yes, BUT.......

"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungcfa
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I'd never let my children watch the orchestra

There's too much sax and violins

Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theDwarfed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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My friend is planning to do vasectomies on killer whales.

But he prefers the term orchestrating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Viewers beware!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InLoveWithAbsol
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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My Dad Pulled This One On Me This Morning.

Me: I'll be back Dad: I'll be Beethoven

Tldr; slow clap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IvanThePenetrator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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What's with all the music puns?

I'll try to orchestrate a change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thereisonlyoneme
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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