Does anyone know puns about cobras?
Because I serpently don't.
I know puns are corny...
..but without them, I'm just a husk of a man.
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
Yale is a university for those who may not know
We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius...
But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following.
Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
Did you know the film “Speed” had no director?
If it had direction, it would be called “Velocity”.
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
I don’t know why everyone seem to have a problem with vegans.
I have never had a beef with one.
Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegan brother?
Did you know that two times ten and two times eleven are actually the same?
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?
Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?
You know what type of pants Mario and Luigi wear?
You know what animal has the hardest life?
Dogs have it pretty ruff.
What do call an animal that knows if you're lying?
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
The only dad joke I know. My friend asked me to post it. :-)
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
Cheap Phineas and Ferb pun; I know it sucks you don't need to tell me
Why couldn't Doofenshmirtz do his fractions?
Because Perry got rid of the denom-inator
Did you know Danny DeVito has a cousin from the old west?
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
You know what grinds my gears?
Rudolph the Red knows rain dear
You know you're getting old when...
You go from hip-hopping, to hip popping.
You know why the Titanic sank?
The captain was nervous and needed an ice breaker
I know that SpongeBob is the title character of the show.
Berlin transport company know their memes
Did you know Darth Vader had a sister?
did you know that stippers dont have airconditioning in their homes?
Wanna know something about the Among Us ghost chat?
It's usually pretty dead.
Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
Did you know frogs taste like beer?
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
Did you know Tristan was originally a nickname?
People were sick of having to write out Stanstanstan.
You know, owls never go on a date if it's raining.
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
How do you know if a cow takes weed?
Do you know how coal turns into diamonds?
It coalapses underpressure!
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture
But I'm still putting it together
Did you know your nose can't be longer than 12 inches ?
Otherwise it will be a foot.
I don’t trust stairs... you wanna know why?
Because they’re always up to something!
You know why a T-Rex walks with bent back?