Unless you Count Dracula.
The Pirate replies aaarrr it's driving me nuts
She's thinking: I want another boy...
And I'm thinking: Boy, you want another...
I was speechless.
A ball is just a roll model.
Boy, was my face red!
But then it dawned on me.
Then it hit me.
Mother:I am well aware, son
...my parenting days were over as I only had normal vision
To them it just doesn't matter
I guess I always had a hunch
and pointed and shouted "That's a hanging offense"
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
It's called What Sap.
Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags
He was breaking out.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
I'm going vegan today.
Because their raisin bread.
Nothing actually starts with an N and ends with a G.
We’re so ‘NSYC.
We named him Carson.
Then I realised, it was on paws.
I guess one was a free-bee
Then I realised. Where the f*** is my roof?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
Military barbers shave their privates
dressed as a goat
If you've seen this pun before i didn't copy it, it is Just an easy pun to think of.
[Removed]
A private tutor
One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area:
Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."
A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed....... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian!!.. 🤪🤣
It was a blessing in disguise.
Then realised I was in the menswear section.
It was a fig meant for my imagination.
Then I realised it was my cake day and it wasn’t kneaded
I've made an ass of myself
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
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My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
I realised when I got home I picked 7up.
the Uber driver that dropped me off got a fine for littering
He was breaking out.
