Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
Chinese food take away: $10. Cab fare to get it: $6. Getting back home and realising they forgot one of your containers....
Just realised it’s Pancake Day....
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
What did the Captain of the Evergreen Cargo ship say when he realised he'd messed up?
When we arrived at the playground, I realised my son secretly brought the cat with him. I was about to be angry at him...
...but then I decided to let it slide.
After mathematicians wondered for many years about the rational numbers, they realised there's more!
I ran out of toilet paper last week and can't afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in......
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised he’s a communist
Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
A pirate walks into a bar and the barman says "do you realise that you have a steering wheel down your pants"
The Pirate replies aaarrr it's driving me nuts
When you realise that the shovel was literally a groundbreaking invention
As my wife gazes at our son, I realise we are polar opposites ...
She's thinking: I want another boy...
And I'm thinking: Boy, you want another...
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.
Finally realised these "gym" boards are not going to work out.
I just realised something
Nothing actually starts with an N and ends with a G.
The moment I realise I lost my voice __________
I've just come to the realisation that in a way a baker is technically also a parent...
Because their raisin bread.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
My girlfriend and I just realised we’re into the same 90’s pop bands
Took too long to realise
A ball is just a roll model.
I hate it when I see an old person...
....and realise we went to school together.
While my kids were colouring with markers I fell asleep on the couch. The little buggers thought it would be funny to draw all over my face to make me look like "the devil". I woke up and went to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping & didn't realise what had happened until I got home.
I didn't realise it was almost sunrise
But then it dawned on me.
I bought 10 bees in the store last week but when i got home i realised I actually had 11
I guess one was a free-bee
My wife gave birth to our baby boy otw to the hospital...
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
I just realised
Military barbers shave their privates
Couldn't understand why my dog was totally motionless....
Then I realised, it was on paws.
how do you not realise you should stop after one twist
I was about to make a pun about Planes but then i realised it would never take off
If you've seen this pun before i didn't copy it, it is Just an easy pun to think of.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then i realised "am i really this shellfish"?
I realised I was dyslexic when I attended a toga party
I realised jokes without punchline are funnier
My local church recently held a masquerade themed dinner and whilst the priest was saying grace I suddenly realised...
It was a blessing in disguise.
I saw a beautiful drawing of a fig last week and I just realised why I haven't been able to stop thinking about it,
It was a fig meant for my imagination.
What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in public?
As I turned up to the funeral in a donkey costume, that's when I realised
I've made an ass of myself
So I was laying in bed last night, looking up at the stars.
Then I realised. Where the f*** is my roof?
I just realised it’s been years since I did the hokey pokey
I guess I forgot what it’s all about
I couldn't realise why the baseball was just floating in the air.
I realised I was ugly when ...
the Uber driver that dropped me off got a fine for littering
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
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