Conscious Puns

A list of puns related to "Conscious"

We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
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👤︎ u/ThaurdoI
📅︎ Dec 05 2020
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I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was so much history between us.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 23 2020
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A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...

Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family? Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure Manager: “she was ALL RIGHT.” Me: oh, I thought you were going to say “There’s nothing LEFT.” The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.

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👤︎ u/Slammin_Salmon94
📅︎ Apr 27 2020
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watch out, he might still be conscious
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👤︎ u/boi_heavy
📅︎ Oct 26 2019
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My health conscious date asked me how many liters are there in a glass of coke.

I said 4 liters, 9 if you include the glass.

She said: "What!?"

Me: Yea.

Liter C.

Liter O.

Liter K.

Liter E.

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👤︎ u/Decrith
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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what do health conscious zombies use for sandwiches?

whole brain bread

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👤︎ u/shatguy
📅︎ Jul 01 2019
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My environmentally conscious friend built a car with wooden doors, wooden engine and a wooden chassis.

Unfortunately it wooden work.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 18 2018
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Why was the fish so conscious about it’s weight?

Because it had too many scales

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👤︎ u/manly-potato
📅︎ Aug 31 2018
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Why was the cube self-conscious?

Because it didn't have any curves.

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👤︎ u/xEdiddy
📅︎ Oct 05 2018
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Why was the rug self-conscious?

Because it was floored.

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👤︎ u/SteadyingRuck
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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I bought a book about hair loss today because I've been feeling a bit self conscious lately...

...all the pages fell out...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jan 06 2018
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In his previous career as a tightrope walker, Frankie Avalon learned to be very safety conscious.

He never worked without a net.

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👤︎ u/SapperInTexas
📅︎ Jun 11 2015
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A new study finds fish are increasingly weight conscious.

Scientists hypothesize this is because they're always surrounded by scales.

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👤︎ u/nothingsexy
📅︎ Apr 06 2016
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I was at the museum and I saw my ex girlfriend across the hall, but was too self conscious to say hello.

There was too much history between us.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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Why was the fish so conscious about it’s weight?

Because it had too many scales

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👤︎ u/manly-potato
📅︎ Aug 31 2018
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