They're becoming sentient
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter…

Let that sink in…

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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In an alternate universe, there’s probably a sentient kitchen wash basin knocking at your front door. Let that sink in,
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betamax-86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What do you call a sentient warehouse?

Aware-house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsasaradactyl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What was the first thing the sentient potato said?

β€œI think. Therefore, I yam.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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In a horrible accident, astronauts were killed when they tried to make first contact with a sentient gas cloud by telling it bad puns.

It was no laughing matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0tBlue
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Did you hear about the sentient rack of ribs working at the BBQ?

Though it was good at its job, it was fired anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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One time, my grandma told me a story about sentient fruit.

Everyone lived apple-y ever after

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I broke up with my girlfriend who is a sentient cabinet

She didn’t realize I’m looking for one nightstand.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHasMagyk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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A robot became sentient

...By thinking outside the box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vaskaat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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He enjoyed his new job as a flight attendant on a Transgalactic Express ship. He enjoyed the variety of species & sentients he got to meet. Except for the Plort, who ate large quantities of raw dead flesh.

They always made him put their carrion overhead.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnabbe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
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This pun made my friend not want to talk to me for a day

Ok, so this one needs a bit of buildup.

At the time (a week or so ago) I was making a homebrew item for DnD (for the uninformed, Homebrew are custom made items/classes/spells to use in a DnD game at the discretion of the DM (Dungeon Master)).

I had shown this item (shameless plug) to my friend (who is also the DM of the campaign I'm in now) in the hopes of using it in the campaign. He had pointed out that the item was a bit OP for it's cost and that the homebrew page I had made for it was too long. We were discussing ways to improve both the item and the page, and then got on the topic of magic items in general.

It went something along the lines of this:

DM: ... you can't really destroy a magic item before removing the magic from it. Like, you could try to melt down a magic sword for example, but all that would really do is make it too hot to hold. You could even bend it, but not outright destroy it.

Me: That's gotta be one pissed off magic sword.

DM: I mean, yeah, if it's sentient.

Me: Maybe it got so angry at being bent, that it gains sentience just spite you or something.

DM: Well, yeah maybe.

And this, people of reddit, is when the PUN, popped into my head.

Me: *leans in* you could say that the sword gained sentience cuz it got... bent out of shape.

A second or two of silence, and I see the pun register in his head, and I fucking lost it.

I then laugh for a straight minute. After about ten secunds of me busting a gut, he said "Aight, Imma head out"

We're cool now, but he really didn't want to talk to me the next day.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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The best joke doesn’t exis-
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kou2kun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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I submit to you a pun about plants in the final minutes of my reddit birthday.

So I know of this one plant. He's a sentient plant, who feels like he needs to move around more than he does (because plants can't move where they're planted on their own), and decided that he needs feet to do so.

So, the plant got a contractor to build him a laboratory around himself. He worked tirelessly for years in hopes of growing a foot he could use, but to no avail. Or, almost no avail.

He managed to finally create SOMETHING, but it wasn't much. All he could get out of all of his experiments and concoctions was a toe. Not even a real toe, a fake one.

So he has now performed...

FAUX-TOE-SYNTHESIS

(say it out loud)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zap-Brannigan
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2012
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In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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