Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
There were a lot of dead ants in my drink for some reasons

So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshmello100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26
🚨︎ report
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
🚨︎ report
here’s the reason for internet censorship

[deleted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamyule
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27
🚨︎ report
There are 3 main reasons I procrastinate.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
And you can guess the reason why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding

But i’m dad serious

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
For some reason I can only remember 25 letters of the alphabet

I don’t know y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wcaka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
I once went on a date with this lovely girl. I told her that I loved how bubbly she was. For some reason, she broke up with me the next day.

I saw her again 10 years later, and almost couldn't recognise her because she had become so beautiful. Turns out she thought I'd said that I loved how blubbery she was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomreader5371
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.

I just can’t put my finger on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Credit: u/derpytomato05 from r/funny(couldn't xpost for some reason)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostPin
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What was the fish’s reason for doing things?

Just for the halibut.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
The only reason I make puns is actually not a reason. Because it's actually a readaughter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water

Number one, and number two

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Reason why you should take up marathon training

It will help you in the long run.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
There's only 2 reasons I don't let my girlfriend drive my Ferrari ...
  1. I don't have a Ferrari

  2. I don't have a girlfriend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
There’s a reason why pilots don’t buy beachside property.

Too low terrain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Wanna know the real reason nobody is buying corona beer during this pandemic?

They dont want any cases

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexoPlex828
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Can't cross-post for some reason
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainGamer008
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Would it not stand to reason....

That 80 is the french equivalent of 420

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
For some reason I can't calculate amps and voltage

I don't know watt I'm forgetting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Why did the train kill the other train for no good reason?

He had loco-motives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
The reason why Minecraft is a perfect game is because...

They didn't cut any corners

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WackyBehr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I was having a bad day so I bought a bottle of vodka,gin and whisky and put them in an elevator and sent them to the top floor. Didn’t have a good reason,

Just needed something to lift my spirits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
I married my home for security reasons

Put a ring on it

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I ate waffle today at breakfast, and for some reason it gave me terrible gas from the back of my throat

It was a belchin' waffle (Belgian)

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
I love Stranger Than Fiction, and here's one of the many reasons why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The main reason there are so many dormant volcanoes on Earth is

Eruptile Dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I don't tell jokes about fungi for a reason.

Too mushroom for error

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.

It wasn't up to snuff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit Coronavirus, and there is no reason to quarantine dogs anymore. /r/Jokes/comments/fe5cmp/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
The only reason I am voting for Elizabeth Warren is that she will bring stability to the White House. She will never be impeached.

She comes with a warranty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."

I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagsfreak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
There are two types of gay tourists, the ones who visit Netherland, and the ones who visit Iran. Despite such a difference between these places, they go to these countries for the same reason

to get stoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
If there's one reason why I love the shovel...

It's because it was a ground-breaking invention

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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There’s a reason koalas aren’t bears.

They don’t meet the Koalafications!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
They call it a CELL phone for a reason...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manxperson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, β€œI’ll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A reason to move to Switzerland
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeryAb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Here are two reasons why no one should drink toilet water.

Number 1.

Number 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, the number 12 makes me happy

And sometimes it dozen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordman17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
There’s a reason I don’t speak with the Taliban any more.

They kept blowing me up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was really disappointed when she found out the reason why my nickname in college was β€œThe Love Machine.”

It’s because I sucked at tennis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My missis said, β€œi can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis!"

I replied, "That's 15 love!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been wearing diapers recently for two reasons

Number one and number two

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onlyux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the crippled Frenchman's reason for being handicapped

"Eiffel"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealMrMixtape
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't drink for religious reasons.

I drink for completely other reasons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vonBirckholz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason...
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the top two reasons you shouldn’t drink water from a toilet?

Number 1)...and number 2)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There's probably a good reason donkeys don't talk.

If only they could tell us what it is ...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The only reason Walter White was so successful is because fortune favors the bald.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frantic_chair
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Yeah me too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pratik007789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Is there ever a reason to break the end off your pencil?

No. It's pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpellingIsAhful
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that people go to acting school and prison for the same reason?

They just don't know how to act.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason why Quokkas have pouches
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/General-Snorlax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I think the biggest reason teen pregnancies get such a bad rap

is because it's so much harder to give birth to a teenager.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaChameleon306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons I don't take my girlfriend on long drives in my Tesla.

One I don't have a girlfriend. Two I don't have a Tesla.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kolshpa
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason why I don't trust the stairs

They're always up to something

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The top ten reasons to procrastinate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been thinking of reasons to move to Switzerland and the flag is a big plus
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi79
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
There's no reason to transfigure this pun!

Professor- Ok Class, I am your professor, McGonagall, and today I will be teaching you about the transfiguration spell, Now do any of you actually know of the spell?

(silence)

Professor- Well then, I'll just have to Show you.. now, the hand movements are precisely like... this(hand movement)!Now any volunteers.?

Me- Raises hand

Professor -Ok then, your task is to turn this bear into a.... Clock!

Me-Oh no! I can't Bear to watch!!!!!!!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonnAwesome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason...

...details are sketchy.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chooboto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?

I guess that’s debaitable.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeatsackKY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
They’re called PAINtings for a reason.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?

We've been in the gene pool too long

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCattMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
For some reason, the cashier wanted me to steal the sweater I already owned..

She told me to swipe my cardigan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybaseball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Three reasons not to buy a BMW

Bus, Metro or Walk

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MenTooMvmt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not good at fishing for the same reason I wouldn't make a good Doctor

I lack the Patients

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmiteTheBacon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When he was a kid, my son used to swallow coins for no apparent reason.

I’ve definitely seen some change in him.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is one reason to not run a marathon?

Long con.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason short jokes are poorly received is because they aren't held in very high regard reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EchoNeko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networks…For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly you’re a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason i don't like stairs is..

They're always up to something

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tHeH1m
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog keeps shaking for no apparent reason

I'm afraid he might have... Barkinson's...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad what the number one reason was that couples get divorced

He replied β€œMarriage.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gdubluu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me why I put the body mirror on the wrong side of the door and the reason was obvious.

I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/artvandelay440
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t figure out the actual reason I got married...

I guess it just has a nice ring to it

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/essjayhawk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The reason I hate stairs.....

is because they're always up to something.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wayxciii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
It's a grandpa joke but whatever. 'Kids, when you're my age, you'll really want to wear diapers again for 2 good reasons'

'What are the reasons?'

'#1, and #2'

'Oh grandpa...'

'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'

'Stoooop'

'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gets_the_dad_joke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
🚨︎ report
There are 2 reasons I don't go into stand up comedy

1 is that I prefer sitting down. The other is that I'm not funny

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Langers102
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Oldest daughter runs into room: "Dad, youngest daughter hit me for no reason!"

Me: "Youngest daughter! You get in here and hit oldest daughter for a reason!"

Both: :/ :/

Edit: ok, OK, no emoji!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconBazinga
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Samsung refuses to unfold the reasons behind broken Galaxy Fold

Because they shouldn’t be unveiled

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I think Facebook is just reddit but five days in the past and everyone’s mad at each other for some reason.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joelwinter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, β€œI’ll give you a reason to cry!"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been thinking of reasons to move to Switzerland...

And their flag is a big plus!

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saspa314
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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