A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.

It was a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensiform
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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The reason there is so few organ donors is

it takes guts.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?

A loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland

but its a big plus.

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathisfakenews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.

First one that comes to mind....

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoeoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.

But they are a major second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've always hated Santa for some reason...

Doctor finally diagnosed me with Claustrophobia,

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.

His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...

I mean, what’s their porpoise?

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...

is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
For some reason I always get sick during holidays.

I must have a weekend immune system...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAZUAG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Cross post for obvious reasons... /r/Jokes/comments/jfm40r/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
There were a lot of dead ants in my drink for some reasons

So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshmello100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?

Marriage

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterKayfabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.

No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leebo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
And you can guess the reason why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Credit: u/derpytomato05 from r/funny(couldn't xpost for some reason)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.

I just can’t put my finger on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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here’s the reason for internet censorship

[deleted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamyule
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding

But i’m dad serious

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
There are 3 main reasons I procrastinate.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Reason why you should take up marathon training

It will help you in the long run.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years

Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.

We got back to the house and my nephew said...

Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.

Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?

Nephew: no. Is it still broken?

Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.

He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostPin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The only reason I make puns is actually not a reason. Because it's actually a readaughter.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the fish’s reason for doing things?

Just for the halibut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't cross-post for some reason
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainGamer008
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I love Stranger Than Fiction, and here's one of the many reasons why.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know the real reason nobody is buying corona beer during this pandemic?

They dont want any cases

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexoPlex828
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Would it not stand to reason....

That 80 is the french equivalent of 420

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There's only 2 reasons I don't let my girlfriend drive my Ferrari ...
  1. I don't have a Ferrari

  2. I don't have a girlfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having a bad day so I bought a bottle of vodka,gin and whisky and put them in an elevator and sent them to the top floor. Didn’t have a good reason,

Just needed something to lift my spirits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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There’s a reason why pilots don’t buy beachside property.

Too low terrain.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
For some reason I can't calculate amps and voltage

I don't know watt I'm forgetting

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the train kill the other train for no good reason?

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason why Minecraft is a perfect game is because...

They didn't cut any corners

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WackyBehr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, β€œI’ll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water

Number one, and number two

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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