I don't get why puns are considered dad jokes,
I've never seen a pun with kids before!
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︎ Jul 27 2019
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︎ Feb 18 2013
Why is Dark spelled with a βKβ and not a βCβ?
Because you canβt βCβ in the dark
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?
Because they drank the 't'
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︎ May 03 2021
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I meant to cross post it but I donβt know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a βbβ comes after it!
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︎ Mar 14 2021
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
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︎ May 09 2021
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Why did Karl Marx write in all lowercase letters?
Because he hated capitalism
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︎ May 03 2021
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Why you should knock on fridge before opening it?
Because there could be a salad dressing.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Asked my contractor why he didnβt bill me for my new roof
He said βDonβt worry about it, itβs on the house!β
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I donβt knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Why donβt vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
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︎ May 02 2021
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Why did I stop and take a shot of vodka when I was running late to work?
That's what I do when I'm Russian
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why are French snails faster than others?
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︎ May 01 2021
Why are ducks so crazy?
Because they're addicted to quack!
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︎ May 02 2021
Why is six afraid of seven?
7 was a well known 6 offender
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because, they use honeycombs.
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︎ May 01 2021
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet
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︎ Apr 23 2021
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Why canβt a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
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︎ May 06 2021
Why do monkeys always share Amazon accounts?
Because they are Prime mates.
... Sorry.
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︎ May 06 2021
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns donβt work
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︎ Apr 27 2021
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
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︎ May 06 2021
Why were the cows always returning to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
(My Grandma called me just to tell me this one): Why did the farmer bury a lightbulb?
He wanted to grow a power plant
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Why are communists always late?
They can only keep track of hours
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︎ May 02 2021
Why aren't koalas classified as bears?
Because they don't have the right koalafications!
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why is childbirth called delivery?
Shouldn't it be called take out?
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︎ Apr 24 2021
Why searching for goose feathers is impossible?
Because you need to look up down
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︎ May 06 2021
Why did the non-binary prospectors head west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
They come with their own scales
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︎ May 03 2021
Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
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︎ May 06 2021
From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?
Because he lived in a pen!
So very proud!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Why couldn't the chili practice archery?
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it!
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︎ May 08 2021
Why are priests called father?
because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why is yoda afraid of 7?
Because six, seven eight.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
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︎ Feb 02 2021
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