I don't get why puns are considered dad jokes,
I've never seen a pun with kids before!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 18 2013
Why is dark written with a K not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Why wonβt triangles go on dates with circles?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Why is βbeefstewβ an unsafe password to use?
Because itβs not Stroganoff.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Why did the wizardβs wife have hickeys on her neck?
Because he was a neck-romancer.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
Why can't blind people eat fish?
π︎ 561
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Why
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
I donβt get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it arenβt even well rounded.
π︎ 354
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4, they'd be called chicken sedans.
π︎ 398
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
π︎ 186
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Why canβt an egg speak publicly?
π︎ 304
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Why is North Korea so evil?
Because they have no Seoul.
Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I canβt take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but Iβm sure heβd be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter itβs brought.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Why did the pilot get sent to his room
π︎ 97
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I finally realized why trees donβt have teeth.
Turns out, theyβre all bark and no bite.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Why was the lamp not heavy?
π︎ 399
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Why did the dime run for President?
Because he kept hearing that people wanted to vote for change.
π︎ 733
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Why do Cows wear the bells
Because their horns don't work.
Β―_(γ)_/Β―
π︎ 63
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
(hAH)
π︎ 43
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
That's why it's called "Peligro" (OC)
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report?
π︎ 132
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Why canβt you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything
π︎ 89
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
π︎ 109
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?
Because they are so good at it.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?
Because it's see-food!
my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.
edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.
thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day
π︎ 151
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Why didn't 4 ask 5 on a date?
π︎ 203
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Why was the mermaid kicked out of Geometry class?
She forgot her Algae-bra.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Why is a pregnant horse faster than a regular horse?
Because the pregnant one has two horsepower.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
You know why my jokes are so cheesy?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Why doesnβt Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?
Theyβre technically Elf employed
π︎ 82
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Why do mermaids wear seashells
π︎ 121
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Why do big-game hunters mount their lionsβ heads?
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.
π︎ 382
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
π︎ 838
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
Why dont bears wear socks?
Because they have bear feet.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Why do white girls travel in odd number groups?
Cuz they literally canβt even
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
π︎ 117
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
because It didn't habenero . .
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Why was the 2 yr old unvaccinated child crying?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
