Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
IMDb rating 4.3/10 but pun game 10/10
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium
What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
That’s just unpresidented
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts aren’t aloud
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...
He’s still making fun of me...
I've suspected my Wife of adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, but she just shrugged it off..
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
Dad joke but.. I'm a mother..
What Job did Beethoven get after he died?
He decomposed.
I bought a thesaurus but when I opened it all the pages were blank
I had no words to describe how angry I was
y=mx+b jokes are fine, but..
At some point, we'll have to draw the line
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
Maybe a repost, apologies in advance, but man this is surely a first class pun!
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
I crossed the border into Mexico without much hassle. Crossing it a second time was fine too, but on the third time a guard stopped me and said “Sorry
What a train ride of emotions finding a neglected train but also a quality pun
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
I really need a thesaurus, but all the shops have sold out.
I can't describe how angry I am.
I admit it’s a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money
I kneaded you, but you weren't bready for the commitment.
I always called it the “fast nut” but okay
I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.
I guess it's worth a shot.
You all know Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know his brother Frank
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