Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
I knew this butcher who accidentally backed into his meat grinder

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalrain39
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Went to my butchers for my dinner but he gave me the wrong order

Must have been a misteak

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Hear about the gang of midgets that tried to rob a butchers shop

They went away empty handed, the steaks were to high.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ffr0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher with a vested interest in his store?

A steak holder

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
So I walked into the butcher..

And i noticed a giant T-Bone hanging from the ceiling.

I asked the butcher - Hey, whats this for?

 

Oh, replied the butcher Thats a compitition we have going. Choose what meat you want to buy and put it on the counter. You can then choose to jump and pull the t-bone down. If you do it in one shot, you get your meat free, otherwise you pay 50% more. Want to have a shot?

 

Nah I replied Steaks are too high

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalandorno
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ewi_1230
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf

He refused, because the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Annonomon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So I go the butchers and there’s a special on. 8 legs of venison for Β£50.

Is that a good deal or is it just two deer?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CYBERSson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butchers conference

A meating

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKindleys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m opening a butchers shop above a hotel.

It’s a cut above the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What did the Canadian say when he entered the Mexican Butcher store?

Pork, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBassMeister
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?

Mutton chops.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wodaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
What I saw at the local butcher
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgeorge443
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the butcher arrested?

He was curing hams without a medical license.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zdws19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 326
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShastaBeast87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that sat on his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iresenteverything
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I want to be a butcher but I’m too short

The steaks are too high

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man and his wife walk into the local butchers

He notices the price of the venison and turns to his wife and says "Oh dear dear, dear dear dear."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AridLands
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Man walks into a butcher store and sees a side of beef strapped to the ceiling. As he approaches the counter he asked asks β€œHey, what’s with the beef?”

Butcher tells him if he can jump up and touch it, he gets half off his purchase. If not, he pays double. The man looks up at the beef and says,

β€œNah. The steaks are too high.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
To save his business, my butcher is trying an experimental process where he gives his cows magic mushrooms before slaughtering them.

Let's just say...the steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benchwrmr22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher who has money in the stock market?

A steak holder

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToraChan23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital.

..Β ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do butchers all like meatballs?

They are a great place to meet and dance with other butchers.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Even though he had an extreme fear of heights, why did the butcher resolve to climb all the way up the ladder?

The steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Bill Murray and a butcher shop that makes pork sausage have in common?

Every day is ground hog day.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The butcher told me that he just made a 10 pound Bratwurst so I told him, A 10 pound Bratwurst? I never sausage a thing!
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorRobotnik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChristMade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A butcher accidentally chopped off his left hand.

Guess he’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DNoiceMahn48
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a butcher’s favorite knight?

Sir loin

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spaghettimoan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a butcher shop

A man walks into a butcher shop and asks for a duck. The butcher asks him β€œdo you want just the breast, or the whole duck? We’ve got a special going for the breast.”

β€œWell I was going to get the whole duck, but tell me about the special.”

β€œThe breast is free, but if you get the whole duck it comes with a bill.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingSpacefrog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

They say he got a little behind in his work!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigAssSackOfTree
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you greet at Muslim cured meats butcher ?

a-salami-maker

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The local butcher has closed.

He lost everything on poker after he raised the stakes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Driconian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The 7ft tall butcher lifted his fillets above his head.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My butcher told me about his contingency plan if he runs out of sausage skins

It's his Wurst Casing Scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bloedbibel
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of butchers?

A meating

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrepuscularKitten
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the 6' 5" butcher weigh?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the butcher who risked everything and opened a shop on top of Mount Everest?

The steaks couldn't be any higher

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickN-Stu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a butchers and admires the mans meat...

β€œThat’s a nice bit of a ham you have there. It’d be a shame if there was an s at the beginning of it and an e at the end.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kcambridge35
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Pattie

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swinging_chippy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the butcher quit his job and become a cattle rancher?

He wanted to raise the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ilovebikes65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

β€œMeet Patty.”

πŸ‘︎ 414
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamfinefettle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine who’s works as a butcher, killed his wife’s secret lover.

He was charged with man slaughter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My vegetarian daughter said that butchers are gross...

But I told her that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 391
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dulberf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
An Alien walks in a butcher shop and the butcher says"We don't serve aliens here!"

The alien said "That's fine, is the human fresh?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inkjetlabel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the group of dwarves that attempted to rob a butchers?

They had to back out because the stakes were too high

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/senmcken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew the butchers looked different when I walked in earlier

As soon as I saw the differences, me stakes were made

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pee_Noot_Skoot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the butcher say when he was introducing his wife to people?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?

He got a little behind in his deliveries.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey_Fiddler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the butcher's the other day and asked them, how do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving?

They said that they just tell them straight out that you're gonna die.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMTobogganMD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a butcher friend in London

Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage.

It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xplctv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I stopped by the grocery store to thank the butcher for some superb steaks they cut for me

They were very nice to meat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What should a vegan do before he enters the butcher?

Prepare for the wΓΌrst

πŸ‘︎ 946
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mercinario
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the butcher have to file for bankruptcy?

He was struggling to make hens meat

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I went into the butchers today...

And all the meat was on hooks attached to the ceiling. I said "why's all the meat up there"

He replied "we are having a game today, if you can jump up and touch any of the meat you can have it for free. Want a try?"

I said "no, the steaks are too high"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moist_Milky
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A Dalmatian stole meat from a local butcher shop.

Don't worry. The suspect has been spotted.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine works at a butcher shop. Here are some of the signs he's made for the store. (x-post /r/meat)

Album here: http://imgur.com/a/yc3yJ

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sup3rmark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Butchers love a good meetup.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the butcher not get promoted?

He didn’t make the cut!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jukeboxer64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Beef hanging from a butcher's ceiling is a cut above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who fell backwards into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryyi23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Doodled these on butcher paper with loads of other people, so sorry it's a bit messy imgur.com/gallery/p2jvff7
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WllWtts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
An angry butcher shouted at me the other day.

I was like, "you got beef"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DazsAllWhite
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I got into an argument with my butcher as he was measuring some meat.

He said he was going to tare me a new one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a butcher do after a hard day's work?

The Bucharest.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Where did the Indian butcher live?

Cowcutta

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AntidoteYYMBR
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My local Butchers closed down the ither day. It is clear that they failed to make ends Meat.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan17492
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What does an abusive butcher do to get off?

He beats his meat.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodieninja86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2016
🚨︎ report
All the butchers in town came together.

It was a giant meating.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Legat-Beelzebub
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder.

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that backed up into the meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SyncingShiip
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmKinghorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthMarasmus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher’s conference

A meating

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKindleys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/100yard-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSabrewulf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mameyn4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

β€œMeat Patty.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet pattie

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/d4r2ag0n
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the butcher reach the meat?

The steaks were too high...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report

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