My butcher dropped my steak while he was handing it to me.

Now it's ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Never trust a German Butcher...

They are the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoridinReborn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I once fell into a vat of butcher's waste...

It was offal!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
I got in argument with my butcher

Relax. It's just a local beef.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
My butcher looked at me strangely

When I asked him for breath mince

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, "No the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hconfiance
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.

I thought it was pretty cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ennayr88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?

A filet mid-yawn

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gmoneyboiswag69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Do you know how to tell someone tells too many bad jokes at a butcher shop?

Cuz even the beef gets corny

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcvroen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Woman to Butcher: People who sell meat are gross...

Butcher to Woman: People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
In college, I worked part time as a butcher's assistant.

You know, just to make ends meat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I am a butcher and my wife doesn’t like me introducing her to people

Especially when I say Meet Patty

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
How do you introduce yourself to a butcher?

β€œHi, nice to meat you!”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJDDooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
How does the muslim butcher respond when someone cracks a joke?

"Ha Lol"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adithya_Meher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the wise butcher?

He's very cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Butcher of "Baa"viken: Killer of over hundred innocent sheep.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D00M12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
The butchers wife always messes up everyone's orders.

We call her, Miss Steak.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen sausages hanging up in a butchers shop?

I havent. I've only seen them hanging down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nahh_yeahh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
What does a 7ft tall butcher weigh?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Eat_Mop_Who22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What did the butcher say as his arch nemesis ran away?

We will meat again!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher convention?

A meat and greet

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cssum0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I visited an online butcher shop today.

Google Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The butcher kept getting my order wrong. He gave me a porterhouse instead of a filet mignon!

He said it was a mis-steak.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a joke about a butcher’s knife but nobody laughed.

It was not very cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a butcher the other day who showed me a 10 pound bratwurst

So I said "A ten pound bratwurst? I never sausage a thing!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerilard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How tall is a butcher?

1 meater

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shredbmc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What I saw at the local butcher
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgeorge443
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
From my 8yr old: what do you say to a slow pig butcher?

Chop chop slow pork

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aschtopher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My butcher is reducing his working hours

My butcher is going from five days a week to four days a week in order to ease himself into retirement. I don't think I can shop there anymore. It's just too odd having a butcher who can't do cold turkey.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elquiche
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do butchers have difficulty learning other languages?

Because they kept butchering the words

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What are butchers always starting fights?

They got beef.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to my butchers for my dinner but he gave me the wrong order

Must have been a misteak

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesebandit0813
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder

I got a little behind in my work

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
The butcher backed up into his meat grinder

And as a result, he got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Everybody, Meat Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LykoStudios
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How dit the butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chappo_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew this butcher who accidentally backed into his meat grinder

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalrain39
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CH1CK3NW1N95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewi_1230
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firefighterbard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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