Did you hear about the wise butcher?

He's very cleaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Butcher of "Baa"viken: Killer of over hundred innocent sheep.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D00M12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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The butchers wife always messes up everyone's orders.

We call her, Miss Steak.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What did the butcher say as his arch nemesis ran away?

We will meat again!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How dit the butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I visited an online butcher shop today.

Google Meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher convention?

A meat and greet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cssum0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chappo_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do butchers have difficulty learning other languages?

Because they kept butchering the words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The butcher kept getting my order wrong. He gave me a porterhouse instead of a filet mignon!

He said it was a mis-steak.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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From my 8yr old: what do you say to a slow pig butcher?

Chop chop slow pork

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aschtopher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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How tall is a butcher?

1 meater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shredbmc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My butcher is reducing his working hours

My butcher is going from five days a week to four days a week in order to ease himself into retirement. I don't think I can shop there anymore. It's just too odd having a butcher who can't do cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elquiche
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I made a joke about a butcher’s knife but nobody laughed.

It was not very cleaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a butcher the other day who showed me a 10 pound bratwurst

So I said "A ten pound bratwurst? I never sausage a thing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerilard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CH1CK3NW1N95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What are butchers always starting fights?

They got beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the butcher introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firefighterbard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew this butcher who accidentally backed into his meat grinder

He got a little behind in his work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalrain39
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to my butchers for my dinner but he gave me the wrong order

Must have been a misteak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.

They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My friend was hesitant about joining the butcher's beauty pageant.

May end up being a Miss Steak...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What I saw at the local butcher
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgeorge443
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewi_1230
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the butcher the other day but ended up fighting him

Cause he asked if i wanted some beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CornLuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Hear about the gang of midgets that tried to rob a butchers shop

They went away empty handed, the steaks were to high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ffr0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher with a vested interest in his store?

A steak holder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butchers conference

A meating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKindleys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Canadian say when he entered the Mexican Butcher store?

Pork, eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBassMeister
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
So I walked into the butcher..

And i noticed a giant T-Bone hanging from the ceiling.

I asked the butcher - Hey, whats this for?

 

Oh, replied the butcher Thats a compitition we have going. Choose what meat you want to buy and put it on the counter. You can then choose to jump and pull the t-bone down. If you do it in one shot, you get your meat free, otherwise you pay 50% more. Want to have a shot?

 

Nah I replied Steaks are too high

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalandorno
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf

He refused, because the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Annonomon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShastaBeast87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m opening a butchers shop above a hotel.

It’s a cut above the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
So I go the butchers and there’s a special on. 8 legs of venison for Β£50.

Is that a good deal or is it just two deer?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CYBERSson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder.

He got a little behind in his work

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the butcher that backed up into the meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SyncingShiip
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a butcher introduce his wife?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmKinghorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butcher’s conference

A meating

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKindleys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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