Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
IMDb rating 4.3/10 but pun game 10/10
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.
I meant to cross post it but I don’t know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography
I am a mom but, here goes
Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?
You remember the a pollo missions.
A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I don’t mean to brag, but...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
You’ve heard of elf on a shelf but are you prepared for ?
High but not so high IQ meme
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
That’s just unpresidented
I used to be a shepherd, but I got fired...
...for falling asleep during inventory.
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts aren’t aloud
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but it’s harder than it sounds.
Almost nothing wood work.
I was going to put a Chemistry joke on here but...
Did you hear about that man that got his tires stolen but not his wheels?
He’s been working tirelessly to get them back
📌 It's taking a while but I have patience...! 🧠
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
I invited my hot date to the gym for a training session, but she didn't show up.
That's when I knew that we weren't going to work out.
I've suspected my Wife of adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, but she just shrugged it off..
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...
He’s still making fun of me...
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
I don't want to be an alarmist, but...
...my father has an alarm company and I'm going to inherit it.
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
I ordered some ripe, juicy, golden yellow mangoes from a grocery store. But all the mangoes they sent me were green.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men that means she's a slut. But what does that make a man if he does it?
Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
I thanked him for cleaning my driveway. But he just brushed it off.
Technically a flower, but...
Earth Day comes once a year, but...
Sunday comes once a week.
Dad joke but.. I'm a mother..
What Job did Beethoven get after he died?
He decomposed.
You all know Albert Einstein was a genius. But did you know his brother Frank
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