I just realized that my calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 689
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I was really scared when I started as a pilot. I looked down nervously and said: "What are all these buttons for?"

The co-pilot said: "They keep your shirt closed."

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmnisVirLupis23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
What you call a boat in your belly button?

A Naval Ship

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtOfPuns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call a battleship control room that covers a belly button?

Naval Bridge.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emailthezac
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?

An Audi

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...

I went to the Navel Academy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stone_meister
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Why was the button permamently depressed?

Somebody pushed him too far.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gartlas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I can't help it, I like Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button

It's basically love at first site.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrethedev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.

Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.

I just can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamagardner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWhat are all these buttons for?”

β€œThey are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite Hollywood movie has to be β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

It never gets old.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You are underAvest!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacemanwho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a tv here I’m selling, going cheap as the volume buttons don’t work

You can’t turn that down

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button...

.....never invented anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the button fall of the cliff?

It was pushed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redpandsrampage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
He wouldn’t be let down if he didn’t push their buttons...
πŸ‘︎ 287
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?

Adoorbell.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inoobie_am
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.

Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr__Weasels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m selling a 55” TV for JUST $1, only problem is the volume button is broken...

... I mean, how can you turn that one down!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you get the buttons wet in a submersible?

Because they're submarine grade.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The chemistry teacher is always pushing my buttons in class!

I think she’s just looking for a reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raoul24601
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The button is RED.

It's REDdit, not ORANGEdit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ronniemondal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for Β£5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?

Paws

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardynolando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s green and turns red when you push a button?

A frog in a blender.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
ugh, the button "C" of my keyboard just broke

Now this is a c-rious problem

(it happened for real, help)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aldo-Tron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of school do belly buttons go to?

Navel academies.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lg_3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in an elevator with my wife when a couple entered with their kids. I went out of my way to ask what floor they were going up to so I could push the button for them.

I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone in my apartment building rearranged all the buttons on the elevator.

That was wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a button with "sad" written on it...

Whenever I push it, it gets depressed!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of belly button does a car have?

an Audi

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWow! What are all these buttons for?”

He said, β€œThey are used to keep your shirt closed.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer tell his belly button?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiverMeeTimberz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UhHowAboutN0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

copilot: they keep your shirt closed

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the police man say to this belly button?

"You're under a vest!"

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NedDeadStark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A great movie to watch when you are under lockdown is β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

Never gets old.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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