Now I’m on a “No Fly” list
Bartender: "Hey buddy, you know you have steering wheel attached to your Willy?"
Pirate: "Aaarrrrr.... It's driving me nuts."
Because I’m always on the fly.
It's a no fly zone
They were dropping like flies.
But he couldn't come up with a joke on the fly.
He answered, "You're on the no-fly list."
They look just like normal jeans, just extra fly.
Dad says, "it pays to advertise"
His dry delivery had me in stitches. Best part is when mom said "you've heard that before, he's been telling that joke for 30 years"
Me (checking my sock): no it doesn’t!
Dad: well, how did you get your foot in?
It would be silly for them to have a zipper.
Cause goats can hear a zipper a mile away.
...with a full-sized ship's steering wheel attached to the zipper of his pants.
The bartender says, "There's a steering wheel attached to your zipper, doesn't that bother you?"
The pirate replies, "Argh, it's driving me nuts."
It would look silly with a zipper
Because ewe’s can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Whoever thought up the inseam zipper was very inventive.
So we are at breakfast and a guy comes in with a old school red leather Michael Jackson jacket zippers and sequins. As we were leaving I walk by him and we said hi.
I said "when you came in I was going to tell you to "beat it". He said "and I would have lol".
Nope he didn't get it. His wife explained. 🤦🏻♂️😂😂😂
a university student was packing her overflowing backpack with her own purchases. She got everything in, except for a baguette and a bunch of leeks, the latter sticking out of her pack through an opening in the zipper.
I just couldn't help myself.
"Your backpack is leaking".
GF: "I hate it when you wear that 3/4 inch zipper sweater, it makes you look old man-y."
Me: "I don't even know Old Manny, how can I look like someone I've never met?"
I haven't heard from her since then, 6 hours ago.
You can't sew a zipper on a mosquito.