For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the dress that ballerinas wear.

Then I put tu and tu together.

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
My nudist friend does not like putting on clothes, but will angrily comply with dress code requirements...

He's a cross dresser.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
A man turns up to a fancy dress party with no costume apart from a naked woman on his back.

He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.

"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.

"Oh, This is Michelle"

This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwrdgirl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Back in the 70s and 80s, I’d often dress up nicely, go out and order dinner for one, see movies alone, take long solitary walks...

Wow, I’m really dating myself.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
So my mate was at a fancy dress party dressed as a bank vault.

I said: ''I thought you were coming dressed as an apology?'' He said: 'Well, I thought I'd better be safe than sorry''.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanlloyd
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What would you call a dress for a cow?

A moo-moo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Starting next week, I'm going to dress as a different type of bread every day.

Roll on Monday!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....

I'll call it Popeyedol.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I went out with a girl the other night, she wore this real slinky dress...

She looked great going down the stairs.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
My daughter goes to a school that requires a uniform. Occasionally, the administration will reward the children with a free dress day.

For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
I first met my wife at a fancy dress party, where I was dressed as a ghost.

I decided to woo her.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Today, I didn-t want to dress like a winner. But I didn't want to dress like a loser either.

So I wore a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhosGayOnTuesday
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
My wife designed a dress made completely from recycled whiteboards!

It's really quite remarkable!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uranus_be_cold
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

***Because most people are offended at seeing Boo Bees! -My 10 yr old son

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

It’s going to be minus 45.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Strict dress code
πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of dress should you wear to a funeral?

A Graveyard Shift

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plotbe01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.

I'm kind of a big deal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Dress warm if you’re in DC today!

It’s minus 45!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/margaritina
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What's the dress code?
πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.

I was immediately kicked out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.

On the way home I got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"

Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"

Her: "Its me."

Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"

Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"

My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!

πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?

He didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My Indian friend just told her parents she wants to wear a Western dress at her wedding.

She said, β€œSorry, but not Sari.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?

Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFury55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s going to be dress like a Jamaican day on Monday

I’m already dreading it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ventanaman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.

They told him that he was missing attire

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Dress Code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/udipadhikari
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luccebest1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a baker's favorite dress shoe?

Loafers

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hobbes2819
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I found this on my girl's dress, and she told me to post a thread on Reddit. She's so punny.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneWhoOlives
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party in town.

To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dress Code.
πŸ‘︎ 329
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey_Yum_Yum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.

It's the only way to parrot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.

She's ayyyyy sexual.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThadElon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

I heard it’s going to be minus 45

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roshiqx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report

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