On the way home I got mugged.
He didn't habanero
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
>A MOO MOO!
<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
I’m already dreading it.
Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...
They told him that he was missing attire
The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:
Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.
The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.
Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.
The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.
Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.
The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.
Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.
Just don't try to start something....
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
She said, “Sorry, but not Sari.”
It was quite suity in there!
To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.
It's the only way to parrot.
I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"
We could hardly walk.
She's ayyyyy sexual.
But I’m not sure if anyone will get it
It felt a little halloweenie.
I’m just buttoning it up now.
I said don't be Sicily.
Kim, oh no!
It was a Miss Tree to me.
He looked spiffy in his loafers.
He's my mast-cot.
I'm not sure why... I wasn't even talking!
Now where am I going to find hens for this task?
So they were sentenced to hanging.
I told her: "Through your eyes"
Fine, suit yourself
Everyone was wearing platforms
I didn't know what I'd dress up as so I asked your mother
She said I should try to be a "Neck Romancer"