Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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The dress explains it all
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Strict dress code
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.

On the way home I got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?

He didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What's the dress code?
πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"

Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"

Her: "Its me."

Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"

Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"

My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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It’s going to be dress like a Jamaican day on Monday

I’m already dreading it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ventanaman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?

Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFury55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.

They told him that he was missing attire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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What's a baker's favorite dress shoe?

Loafers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hobbes2819
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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My Indian friend just told her parents she wants to wear a Western dress at her wedding.

She said, β€œSorry, but not Sari.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party in town.

To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.

It's the only way to parrot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I found this on my girl's dress, and she told me to post a thread on Reddit. She's so punny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneWhoOlives
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Dress Code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udipadhikari
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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When we were young my mum used dress me and my brother in the same clothes and we hated it.

We could hardly walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.

She's ayyyyy sexual.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThadElon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luccebest1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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I wanted to dress up as a UDP Packet for Halloween

But I’m not sure if anyone will get it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Dress Code.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey_Yum_Yum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Why did the hot dog dress up ?

It felt a little halloweenie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyroundballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.

I’m just buttoning it up now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...

I said don't be Sicily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matimo123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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What did the media say to the Kardashian after she culturally appropriated a Japanese dress?

Kim, oh no!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Interestingly I saw a tree today wearing a dress. After racking my brain I finally just walked away.

It was a Miss Tree to me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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My friend came to a fancy dress party wearing a suit and shoes made of bread.

He looked spiffy in his loafers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What does the English grammarian wear under her dress?

A diphthong!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...

He's my mast-cot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Found a costume for the next dress-up party, I think it will be a great converseATION starter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BioMetricMacy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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My wife just put on a dress and asked me to zip it

I'm not sure why... I wasn't even talking!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikelln
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Mom said I should dress in layers for the cold weather...

Now where am I going to find hens for this task?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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My dress shirts all committed treason.

So they were sentenced to hanging.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BabyEinstein2016
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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My sister asked me how she looked in her new dress

I told her: "Through your eyes"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMcSquared
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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If you dress up as santa claus is it claus-playing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayyded
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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You don't want me to help dress you for your wedding?

Fine, suit yourself

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I went to a railway fancy dress party

Everyone was wearing platforms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I decided to dress up for Halloween this year.

I didn't know what I'd dress up as so I asked your mother

She said I should try to be a "Neck Romancer"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyX2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt

I'm going to be an ascot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nolehusker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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