The dress explains it all
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.

I was immediately kicked out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What's the dress code?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?

He didn't habanero

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.

They told him that he was missing attire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.

She's ayyyyy sexual.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThadElon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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When we were young my mum used dress me and my brother in the same clothes and we hated it.

We could hardly walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Why did the hot dog dress up ?

It felt a little halloweenie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyroundballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...

I said don't be Sicily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matimo123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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What did the media say to the Kardashian after she culturally appropriated a Japanese dress?

Kim, oh no!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Found a costume for the next dress-up party, I think it will be a great converseATION starter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BioMetricMacy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...

He's my mast-cot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Mom said I should dress in layers for the cold weather...

Now where am I going to find hens for this task?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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Why did the surgeon dress up a bee to remove a stinger from the patient?

Because that’s how a sting operation works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I was invited to a fancy dress party with the theme of characters who find a magic lamp

I wasn't told the dress code so I wasn't Aladdin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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What did the damsel say while trying on a dress?

Should I be in dis-dress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterNoob42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have

My boss still didn’t think a spacesuit was β€œappropriate work attire”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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I noticed my son's dress shoes were unlaced and dragging on the ground as we were leaving church on Sunday. My wife spoke up and said, "now honey, he's probably just stylin'"

I replied, "More like he'll be trippin' the way I see it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackrabbits1im
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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What is the difference between a well dress man sitting on a tricycle and a naked man sitting on a bike?

A TIRE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonymousKingAndy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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The was a huge dress-up party on the beach

On my way down I saw a naked man with a naked woman on his back. I asked him β€œWhat are you dressing up as” He said β€œ I’m going as a turtle” I asked β€œso then who’s hat on your back” he replied β€œ Michelle”.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I saw this dress decorated with small shiny disks: three on the arm, five on the collar, eight on the back...

They were Fibonacci sequins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andronaut_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Why did the right wing daddy not stop his daughter from going out in a sleeveless dress?

Because he recognized her right to bare arms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarvedttudd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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What did the cranberry dress up as for Halloween?

A zombay-ay-ay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petersk8008
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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When I was in the army, our captain told us to dress as water dwelling birds, make quaking noises and just recline lazily in order to blend into the environment. But I doubted how effective that would be.

I was sure we’d be sitting ducks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwicanary
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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If you dress the way your friends tell you to...

Would that be giving in to appear pressure?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdvantaJeous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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I wanted to wear my fursuit to the fancy dress party, but I was told it was a fashion faux paw.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
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My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively.

It was his Frodo-Booth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheScarletSho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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The number 8 was incredibly hostile at the Numbers Dress Up party

He didn’t want to benign.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/idrees7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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Dad, May I try on that dress in the window?

Dad: I’m sorry, honey, you’ll have to do it in the dressing room!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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A lawyer broke the courtroom dress code.

It resulted in a law suit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
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Most nuns today no longer where the stereotypical religious garb, but they still dress in simple clothing...

out of habit.

^(edit: wear*)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
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Why did the Knife dress up in a suit?

Because it wanted to look sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan17492
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2017
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Getting dress in the morning dad joke

I turn to my wife and state matter of factly,

Did you know that over 70% of the socks made in North America are made by the same company, under different brand names? However, despite their size and large market share, they treat their employees very well. Every year they give away a bunch of free socks to each one, and employees get to pick which brand of free socks they get.

You can always tell a good company if it gives its employees sock options.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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My fiance is watching a lot of 'Say Yes To The Dress'....

Here are a few of my peanut gallery comments to pass the time....

"I'm going to open my own wedding dress store. It's going to be called 'The Tulle Shop'".

"TLC is coming out with a new show that's about buying underwear. It's called 'Say Ja To The Bra'".

"What type of wedding dress did the future wife of the New York Yankee buy? A ball gown."

Indian-themed weddings are also a gold mine because of the "sari" dress. Too many to list here. Stuff along the lines of "I feel sari she has to pick between those two dresses". "She'll be sari if she doesn't pick that dress."....the list goes on and on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeeItForeward
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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After being on an episode of Say Yes To The Dress...

We left without buying anything. Later at dinner: Friend to Bride: "Do you want to go over any dress in particular so they don't all mush together? Kind of a like a debrief?" Me: "Yeah, you don't want to get post-traumatic dress disorder!"

Groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhistlingSausages
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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[x-post /r/funny] my Dad decided to dress up the dog and stage a picture for Facebook

http://i.imgur.com/FfF1hYX.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinnycogs820
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
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I went to a fancy dress party last night, the theme was hot drinks.

I arrived fashionably latte of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEZTURNER
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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A man came up to me and said he was going to dress up as an island of the coast of Italy...

...I said "don't be Sicily"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_John_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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