The dress explains it all
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out.
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.
They told him that he was missing attire
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...
It was quite suity in there!
My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.
When we were young my mum used dress me and my brother in the same clothes and we hated it.
Why did the hot dog dress up ?
It felt a little halloweenie.
My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...
What did the media say to the Kardashian after she culturally appropriated a Japanese dress?
Found a costume for the next dress-up party, I think it will be a great converseATION starter.
On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...
Mom said I should dress in layers for the cold weather...
Now where am I going to find hens for this task?
Why did the surgeon dress up a bee to remove a stinger from the patient?
Because that’s how a sting operation works.
I was invited to a fancy dress party with the theme of characters who find a magic lamp
I wasn't told the dress code so I wasn't Aladdin
What did the damsel say while trying on a dress?
Should I be in dis-dress.
They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have
My boss still didn’t think a spacesuit was “appropriate work attire”.
I noticed my son's dress shoes were unlaced and dragging on the ground as we were leaving church on Sunday. My wife spoke up and said, "now honey, he's probably just stylin'"
I replied, "More like he'll be trippin' the way I see it."
What is the difference between a well dress man sitting on a tricycle and a naked man sitting on a bike?
The was a huge dress-up party on the beach
On my way down I saw a naked man with a naked woman on his back. I asked him “What are you dressing up as” He said “ I’m going as a turtle”
I asked “so then who’s hat on your back” he replied “ Michelle”.
I saw this dress decorated with small shiny disks: three on the arm, five on the collar, eight on the back...
They were Fibonacci sequins
Why did the right wing daddy not stop his daughter from going out in a sleeveless dress?
Because he recognized her right to bare arms.
What did the cranberry dress up as for Halloween?
When I was in the army, our captain told us to dress as water dwelling birds, make quaking noises and just recline lazily in order to blend into the environment. But I doubted how effective that would be.
I was sure we’d be sitting ducks.
If you dress the way your friends tell you to...
Would that be giving in to appear pressure?
I wanted to wear my fursuit to the fancy dress party, but I was told it was a fashion faux paw.
My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively.
The number 8 was incredibly hostile at the Numbers Dress Up party
He didn’t want to benign.
Dad, May I try on that dress in the window?
Dad: I’m sorry, honey, you’ll have to do it in the dressing room!
A lawyer broke the courtroom dress code.
It resulted in a law suit.
Most nuns today no longer where the stereotypical religious garb, but they still dress in simple clothing...
out of habit.
^(edit: wear*)
Why did the Knife dress up in a suit?
Because it wanted to look sharp.
Getting dress in the morning dad joke
I turn to my wife and state matter of factly,
Did you know that over 70% of the socks made in North America are made by the same company, under different brand names? However, despite their size and large market share, they treat their employees very well. Every year they give away a bunch of free socks to each one, and employees get to pick which brand of free socks they get.
You can always tell a good company if it gives its employees sock options.
My fiance is watching a lot of 'Say Yes To The Dress'....
Here are a few of my peanut gallery comments to pass the time....
"I'm going to open my own wedding dress store. It's going to be called 'The Tulle Shop'".
"TLC is coming out with a new show that's about buying underwear. It's called 'Say Ja To The Bra'".
"What type of wedding dress did the future wife of the New York Yankee buy? A ball gown."
Indian-themed weddings are also a gold mine because of the "sari" dress. Too many to list here. Stuff along the lines of "I feel sari she has to pick between those two dresses". "She'll be sari if she doesn't pick that dress."....the list goes on and on...
After being on an episode of Say Yes To The Dress...
We left without buying anything. Later at dinner:
Friend to Bride: "Do you want to go over any dress in particular so they don't all mush together? Kind of a like a debrief?"
Me: "Yeah, you don't want to get post-traumatic dress disorder!"
Groans.
[x-post /r/funny] my Dad decided to dress up the dog and stage a picture for Facebook
http://i.imgur.com/FfF1hYX.jpg
I went to a fancy dress party last night, the theme was hot drinks.
I arrived fashionably latte of course.
A man came up to me and said he was going to dress up as an island of the coast of Italy...
...I said "don't be Sicily"
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