Twitter Puns

A list of puns related to "Twitter"

audiophile twitter puns
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👤︎ u/Megaman0201
📅︎ Mar 01 2018
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The CFL's Calgary Stampeders have some top notch twitter punning twitter.com/calstampeders…
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👤︎ u/gutterferret
📅︎ Mar 17 2016
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A Bishop's Twitter Post
👍︎ 14k
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👤︎ u/TheRealAjmera
📅︎ Nov 29 2020
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A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”

The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."

👍︎ 794
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👤︎ u/crazyfortaco
📅︎ Feb 01 2021
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Female Twitter post...Do men still open car doors ?

Comment: "Well yeah! How the fuck do we get inside?"

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 29 2021
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Saw this European Union ad on Twitter
👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/Blackbird1251
📅︎ Mar 04 2021
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Why does Lord Voldemort have Twitter, but not Facebook?

He only has followers, not friends.

👍︎ 20
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👤︎ u/wimpykidfan37
📅︎ Mar 04 2021
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Shamelessly stolen on twitter, no clue about who did that. I have to dig something here...
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👤︎ u/goelin
📅︎ Jan 15 2021
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Twitter meme s t o l e n from facebook
👍︎ 103
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👤︎ u/oakvard
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.

Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/jodyleblanc
📅︎ Jan 15 2021
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Twitter might ban you if you post a COVID joke.

But there is a 95% chance you won’t get it.

👍︎ 25
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👤︎ u/mikeiscool81
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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Bronnection.. found it on twitter
👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/ken_1712
📅︎ Mar 03 2020
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How I got blocked on Twitter

Girl: why does every reference of Steve Irwin make me cry?

Me: Does it makes you cry “crocodile tears?”

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👤︎ u/chaddtalks
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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I started a twitter account devoted to non-sequitors but had to shut it down

No followers.

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are merging...

They’ll henceforth be known as YouTwitFace.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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I love Twitter
👍︎ 894
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👤︎ u/Samyam2896
📅︎ Apr 29 2019
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of course no-one appreciated this on twitter
👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/ICTman1076
📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
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👤︎ u/DidrikNL
📅︎ Feb 18 2020
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A man tells his doctor : "Doc, help me, I'm addicted to Twitter"

The doctor replies : "Sorry I don't follow you..."

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Jun 07 2020
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let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world

@mustfear

edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.

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👤︎ u/alphabluewolf
📅︎ Jun 07 2020
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I love twitter
👍︎ 769
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👤︎ u/hopoffZ
📅︎ Dec 14 2018
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Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are shutting down tonight at Midnight PMT due to COVID-19 pandemic

A very proactive step to reduce the likelihood of anything else going viral.

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👤︎ u/Kuriakon
📅︎ Mar 15 2020
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What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

👍︎ 24
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Jul 07 2019
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This is why I wood recommend Twitter
👍︎ 76
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👤︎ u/JGesick
📅︎ Sep 22 2018
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This is Arnold's profile pic on Twitter. i.reddituploads.com/20fc6…
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
📅︎ Feb 03 2017
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Phenomenal twitter thread imgur.com/a/2B1YBYh/
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👤︎ u/aus10w
📅︎ Sep 09 2019
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YouTube’s founder Twitter account:

1,920 Following 1,080 Followers

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes
📅︎ Jan 16 2020
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Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter to Facebook? /r/harrypotter/comments/e…
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👤︎ u/Bluebanana5735
📅︎ Jan 14 2020
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Mr. Pickle has a decent following on twitter...

He's kind of a big dill

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/JBaczuk
📅︎ Oct 10 2019
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I got a new job monitoring someone’s twitter and Instagram messages

It’s per DM

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👤︎ u/ApplewoodWarrior
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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Why is Trump always posting on Twitter so much?

Because he's completely phony.

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👤︎ u/slacy
📅︎ Dec 03 2019
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Credit to @TheHippocrit on Twitter
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👤︎ u/TurtlerTim
📅︎ May 10 2019
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Thanks sonic Twitter very cool
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👤︎ u/Imonandroid
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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I'm so glad that the twitter # was "hashtag" instead of "pound"

Otherwise the #metoo movement would have been awkward.

👍︎ 140
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👤︎ u/BGG-prone
📅︎ Jun 10 2018
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I told my doc I need help because I'm addocted to Twitter...

Doc said he doesn't follow.

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👤︎ u/AlrdyturntupD
📅︎ Oct 09 2019
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For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...

I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"

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👤︎ u/voip_geek
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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If Jesus were alive and on Twitter...

He’d probably have a lot of followers.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/lawnswizzle82
📅︎ Aug 03 2019
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OJ Simpson joined Twitter...

...I think to promote a brand of orange juice.

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👤︎ u/alltime75
📅︎ Jun 17 2019
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This Twitter bio is top-NOTCH
👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/verifypassword__
📅︎ Nov 04 2017
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Doctor you've got you help me, I'm addicted to twitter.

Doctor: I don't follow you.

👍︎ 210
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👤︎ u/red_snake0329
📅︎ Jan 20 2021
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a lady goes to the doctor and says I’m addicted to Twitter

the doctor says I don’t follow you

👍︎ 18
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👤︎ u/zaiddortegaa
📅︎ Feb 21 2021
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Doctor! Doctor! I'm addicted to Twitter.

I don't follow you.

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👤︎ u/1963Jan
📅︎ Jan 27 2021
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Doctor you've got you help me, I'm addicted to twitter.

Doctor: I don't follow you.

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/RayInRed
📅︎ Jan 30 2020
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Doctor you've got you help me, I'm addicted to twitter.

Doctor: I don't follow you.

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
📅︎ Jun 07 2019
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