A man turns up to a fancy dress party with no costume apart from a naked woman on his back.

He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.

"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.

"Oh, This is Michelle"

This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwrdgirl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....

I'll call it Popeyedol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I went out with a girl the other night, she wore this real slinky dress...

She looked great going down the stairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My daughter goes to a school that requires a uniform. Occasionally, the administration will reward the children with a free dress day.

For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I first met my wife at a fancy dress party, where I was dressed as a ghost.

I decided to woo her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Today, I didn-t want to dress like a winner. But I didn't want to dress like a loser either.

So I wore a tie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhosGayOnTuesday
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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My wife designed a dress made completely from recycled whiteboards!

It's really quite remarkable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uranus_be_cold
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Why couldn’t the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

***Because most people are offended at seeing Boo Bees! -My 10 yr old son

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

It’s going to be minus 45.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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What kind of dress should you wear to a funeral?

A Graveyard Shift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plotbe01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.

I'm kind of a big deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Strict dress code
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Dress warm if you’re in DC today!

It’s minus 45!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margaritina
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.

I was immediately kicked out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the dress code?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.

On the way home I got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"

Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"

Her: "Its me."

Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"

Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"

My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?

He didn't habanero

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?

Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFury55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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It’s going to be dress like a Jamaican day on Monday

I’m already dreading it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ventanaman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Indian friend just told her parents she wants to wear a Western dress at her wedding.

She said, β€œSorry, but not Sari.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.

They told him that he was missing attire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Dress Code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udipadhikari
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a baker's favorite dress shoe?

Loafers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hobbes2819
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Dress code
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luccebest1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I found this on my girl's dress, and she told me to post a thread on Reddit. She's so punny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneWhoOlives
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party in town.

To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.

It's the only way to parrot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.

She's ayyyyy sexual.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThadElon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Dress Code.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey_Yum_Yum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When we were young my mum used dress me and my brother in the same clothes and we hated it.

We could hardly walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to dress up as a UDP Packet for Halloween

But I’m not sure if anyone will get it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...

I said don't be Sicily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matimo123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hot dog dress up ?

It felt a little halloweenie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyroundballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.

I’m just buttoning it up now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend came to a fancy dress party wearing a suit and shoes made of bread.

He looked spiffy in his loafers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

I heard it’s going to be minus 45

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roshiqx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report

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