If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
My wife told me to stop cross dressing.
So I packed her things and left.
I thought about dressing up as a plank of wood for halloween
I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
What do you call a cross dressing vampire ?
The way kids are dressing these days makes me think they all have COVID-19...
...they obviously have no taste.
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish
This Halloween I'm dressing up as something really scary....
I remember dressing up as a breakfast pastry for one of my high school plays.
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
Checking out your butt in a dressing room is just you looking through a rear-view mirror.
The local drug dealer in town started dressing as a Jehovah’s Witness so as not to arouse suspicion.
He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.
It had his favourite dressing on it too
what if I told you that cowboy clothes is just a fancy way of sayin ranch dressing?
Making a sign for work. Any puns for thousand island dressing?
What is the most communist dressing?
My wife saw me dressing in drag, and now she decided that we were over.
So I packed up her stuff and left.
For Halloween this year I’m dressing up as Santa and handing out White Claw’s
I bought a dressing gown.
I always wear it when putting sauce on a salad.
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.
I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it; just in case there's a salad dressing
I've no problem with people dressing up as a red vegetable, as long as you beetroot to yourself.
Like /u/jgudnas, my wife also caught me cross dressing
She told me to lighten up.
I've been banned from the nudist beach for dressing inappropriately
Where do turkeys go to buy their dressings?
(Day late sorry)
My buddy is a math teacher, and says for Halloween he is dressing up as a tree...
When his students ask him what he is, he's going to say, "Gee, I'm a tree." (Geometry)
The conceited actress was given a fancy trailer and liked to show off her dressing table
Her full vanity was on display
I've been battling a serious addiction to dressing like a nun for years. Today I'm happy to announce that I'm 28 days clean.
I've finally kicked the habit.
Please pass the dressing
I'm not sure if I can, are you covered with my insur-ranch?
My friend just told me that for Halloween, he's dressing up as the Archipelago off the southwest coast of Britain....
I said, don't be so scilly.
My wife caught me cross dressing and told me it was over.
So I packed all her clothes and left.
My wife caught me cross dressing today and said we're finished
So I packed her clothes and left