If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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My wife told me to stop cross dressing.

So I packed her things and left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dm-me-potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Salad dressing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I thought about dressing up as a plank of wood for halloween

I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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What do you call a cross dressing vampire ?

Dragula.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The way kids are dressing these days makes me think they all have COVID-19...

...they obviously have no taste.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NutTote
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Field Dressing

Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said β€œlooks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh πŸ˜†!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ty_diesel_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish

Balsa McVinegar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/david622
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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This Halloween I'm dressing up as something really scary....

A phone battery at 2%.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I remember dressing up as a breakfast pastry for one of my high school plays.

It was a sweet role.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpbojoe
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?

Dude: Ranch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RBIC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Checking out your butt in a dressing room is just you looking through a rear-view mirror.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FairlyCharming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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The local drug dealer in town started dressing as a Jehovah’s Witness so as not to arouse suspicion.

He was arrested when cops saw people actually letting him in.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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It had his favourite dressing on it too
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xo1opossum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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what if I told you that cowboy clothes is just a fancy way of sayin ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bealosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Making a sign for work. Any puns for thousand island dressing?
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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What is the most communist dressing?

sOUR CREAM.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/john_joe_young
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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My wife saw me dressing in drag, and now she decided that we were over.

So I packed up her stuff and left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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I enjoy dressing up.

It suits me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPun44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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For Halloween this year I’m dressing up as Santa and handing out White Claw’s

I’m gonna be Santa Claws

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I bought a dressing gown.

I always wear it when putting sauce on a salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.

I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Dressing to impress
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickelbackfan1000
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.

Called Neverland Ranch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it; just in case there's a salad dressing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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I've no problem with people dressing up as a red vegetable, as long as you beetroot to yourself.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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Like /u/jgudnas, my wife also caught me cross dressing

She told me to lighten up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeyehatton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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I've been banned from the nudist beach for dressing inappropriately
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I like dressing classy

I think it suits me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Battle_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Where do turkeys go to buy their dressings?

Old Gravy.

(Day late sorry)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sb76117
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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My buddy is a math teacher, and says for Halloween he is dressing up as a tree...

When his students ask him what he is, he's going to say, "Gee, I'm a tree." (Geometry)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LDM312
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
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The conceited actress was given a fancy trailer and liked to show off her dressing table

Her full vanity was on display

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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I've been battling a serious addiction to dressing like a nun for years. Today I'm happy to announce that I'm 28 days clean.

I've finally kicked the habit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeriousMichael
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2017
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Please pass the dressing

I'm not sure if I can, are you covered with my insur-ranch?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnyxSwangin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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My friend just told me that for Halloween, he's dressing up as the Archipelago off the southwest coast of Britain....

I said, don't be so scilly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manson_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2015
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My wife caught me cross dressing and told me it was over.

So I packed all her clothes and left.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgudnas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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My wife caught me cross dressing today and said we're finished

So I packed her clothes and left

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atticus_5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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