I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
A phone battery at 2%.
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
It was a sweet role.
I’m gonna be Santa Claws
Called Neverland Ranch.
When his students ask him what he is, he's going to say, "Gee, I'm a tree." (Geometry)
I said, don't be so scilly.
Today she's being a rather well known blonde from "Frozen", working outside at a festival in the wind and rain. She sent me a picture of herself dressed up and looking a bit miserable, to which I replied:
"You look like you'd rather be somewhere.....ELSA"
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.
"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.
"Oh, This is Michelle"
This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts
I'll call it Popeyedol.
It's called 'Knitwear On Elm Street.'
She wanted to make a formal complaint.
At first I was afraid; I was petrified.
I was immediately kicked out.
Steven, he works in Accounting.
He says its like shooting fish in apparel.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
Then it dawned on me...
He must be one of those plane clothes cops!
I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"
But I’m not sure if anyone will get it
Because you’re stuffing your face with it since you know you won’t see it again until next Thanksgiving.
I said don't be Sicily.
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
It felt a little halloweenie.
The cops finally nailed him.
Manikin Skywalker!
or when he shows up immediately? an insta-gator
and if he's well-dressed? and in-vest-gator
CHEW CHEW CHEW BACA CA
He told me, “Oh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”
It was in disguise.
When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."
A man dressed in rubber boots, orange overalls, yellow hard hat with a light on, blacked up face and a canary on his shoulder walks into a pub. The whole pub goes silent and everyone stares at him for a few seconds then carries on what they were doing. It was only a miner distraction.
He's an anti-depress ant.
It became a fright train.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
I didn't know what I'd dress up as so I asked your mother
She said I should try to be a "Neck Romancer"
Because that’s how a sting operation works.
I heard he had a whale of a time
to fulfill my fantasy...
that we have health insurance.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Lena could not leave them on the side of the road so they scooped the babies up and put them in the car. As they drove the baby skunks managed to make their way from the floor up Lena's dress and settled on her lap. Lena looked at Ole and said "the skunks are under my dress". Ole said "Zat's OK dear zey are settled down". Lena said "Vhat about the smell?". Ole said, "Oh, don't worry dear they will get used to it!"
