I thought about dressing up as a plank of wood for halloween
I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
This Halloween I'm dressing up as something really scary....
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
I remember dressing up as a breakfast pastry for one of my high school plays.
For Halloween this year I’m dressing up as Santa and handing out White Claw’s
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.
I've no problem with people dressing up as a red vegetable, as long as you beetroot to yourself.
My buddy is a math teacher, and says for Halloween he is dressing up as a tree...
When his students ask him what he is, he's going to say, "Gee, I'm a tree." (Geometry)
My friend just told me that for Halloween, he's dressing up as the Archipelago off the southwest coast of Britain....
I said, don't be so scilly.
My friend has a weekend dressing up as a disney princess
Today she's being a rather well known blonde from "Frozen", working outside at a festival in the wind and rain. She sent me a picture of herself dressed up and looking a bit miserable, to which I replied:
"You look like you'd rather be somewhere.....ELSA"
I understand that dressing up as a monster is a popular Halloween costume.
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
A man turns up to a fancy dress party with no costume apart from a naked woman on his back.
He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.
"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.
"Oh, This is Michelle"
This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts
I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....
Just finished watching a film about a serial killer who dresses up in brightly coloured sweaters....
It's called 'Knitwear On Elm Street.'
Why was Karen dressed up?
She wanted to make a formal complaint.
Someone knocked on my door dressed up as Gloria Gaynor.
At first I was afraid; I was petrified.
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out.
What do you call a bee dressed up as a ghost?
Steven, he works in Accounting.
A buddy of mine has a new hobby where he dresses up salmon in tiny outfits and takes pictures of them.
He says its like shooting fish in apparel.
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
I thought it was odd when I saw a police officer dressed up as an airline pilot.
Then it dawned on me...
He must be one of those plane clothes cops!
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were
I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"
I wanted to dress up as a UDP Packet for Halloween
But I’m not sure if anyone will get it
Stop calling it dressing, you don’t wear it. It’s stuffing.
Because you’re stuffing your face with it since you know you won’t see it again until next Thanksgiving.
My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...
Why did the hot dog dress up ?
It felt a little halloweenie.
Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus?
The cops finally nailed him.
Found a costume for the next dress-up party, I think it will be a great converseATION starter.
What would you call a statue dressed up like Darth Vader?
what do you call a reptile with a stock portfolio? an invested-gator
or when he shows up immediately? an insta-gator
and if he's well-dressed? and in-vest-gator
What did Chewbacca say when he dressed up as Jason Voorhees for Halloween?
I visited my friend and when I got there I noticed he had dressed up a bottle of gin like Santa Claus. So I asked him about it.
He told me, “Oh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
For halloween, my daughter dressed up as Mary Poppins, and then asked me if she could just skip the vegan neighbor's house.
When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."
A man enters a bar....
A man dressed in rubber boots, orange overalls, yellow hard hat with a light on, blacked up face and a canary on his shoulder walks into a pub. The whole pub goes silent and everyone stares at him for a few seconds then carries on what they were doing. It was only a miner distraction.
If you dress up as santa claus is it claus-playing?
One of the ants on my ant farm dresses up as a clown to cheer up his friends.
He's an anti-depress ant.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
I decided to dress up for Halloween this year.
I didn't know what I'd dress up as so I asked your mother
She said I should try to be a "Neck Romancer"
Why did the surgeon dress up a bee to remove a stinger from the patient?
Because that’s how a sting operation works.
Did you hear about the guy who dressed up as a fish for the party?
I heard he had a whale of a time
Asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...
to fulfill my fantasy...
that we have health insurance.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Ole and Lena were driving home from town when Ole hit a momma skunk and managed to miss her 3 babies.
Lena could not leave them on the side of the road so they scooped the babies up and put them in the car. As they drove the baby skunks managed to make their way from the floor up Lena's dress and settled on her lap. Lena looked at Ole and said "the skunks are under my dress". Ole said "Zat's OK dear zey are settled down". Lena said "Vhat about the smell?". Ole said, "Oh, don't worry dear they will get used to it!"
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