I could never date a woman wearing makeup all the time.

They'd think something was wrong with me.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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makeup

I told my gf she drew her eyebrows on too high, she looked surprised.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckYouMirror
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Makeup day

I told my dad the school was having a makeup day to cover any missed work, and he, typical dad, goes β€œthey’re teaching you to put on makeup?” (I’m a straight male)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hiimafoot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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What's a witch's favorite makeup?

Ma-scare-a.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I always start my day with makeup

It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsolinkable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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I found my girlfriends butthole makeup
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwanNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.

That is a bit iron-ic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/erkang06
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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I tried to makeup a joke about shopping.

Does discount?

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Please give me makeup advice
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlatTesseract
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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What did the copy machine say when it spilled it’s makeup

Ahh that was my toner

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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My wife got a hair cut, earrings, airpods, and makeup after she got a raise at work.

All that money really went to her head.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-Lawsome
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?

It's pretty intense.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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What did the shower say to the rockstar in black and white makeup?

β€œHi Gene!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SappyNutria
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose

They make the person look better

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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When does makeup run?

When you mascare it off.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorbread
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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My girlfriend misplaced some of her makeup...

Gf: "I can't find my concealer"

Me: "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then."

She was silent for like a solid five seconds before just saying "fuck off"

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mono200
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2016
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My wife walked in and complained "I have makeup in my eye!"

I replied 'Baby, if you wanted to see things nicer, you could have just worn rouge-colored glasses."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2017
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My girlfriend was doing her makeup and told me her base was finished

"Then start making troops."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xkingxdreadx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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Guess where I got my makeup done?

I was telling my husband about getting my makeup done. When I asked him to "guess where I got it done", he responded with "on your face?"

He's not a dad yet, but he's got the dad jokes nailed.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsShaunaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report

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