Dad caught me chewing on my clothes.. he asked me..

are you on a pant based diet?

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".

I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short mother with no clothes on?

Bare minimum

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
During lockdown people have been choosing to wear no clothes at all.

The naturist groups report their members have doubled in size.

(Too subtle for a dad joke?)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skin_shimmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Why should you never change clothes in front of a Pokemon?

They might Pikachu.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doctor_boombot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.

He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodWillPower
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"

Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
If you don’t know what clothes to wear, just ask tommy,

Hilfiger it out.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OttoTheGeezer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Thought my dryer was shrinking my clothes...

Turns out it was my refrigerator.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
I have a good friend who wears clothes made of nothing but carpet.

Walter Wall.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory

It was rough.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinkybenny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a gang going through the shops in our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.

The Police believe they’re still at large.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"

I replied, "Depends."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mano_Trueno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My local clothing store has an area set aside to try on clothes that is perfectly placed in the store...

It's a fitting room.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does Santa hang his clothes?

In the clause-it

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sanelyinsane40
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of clothes are made with Australian goose feathers?

Down Under wear

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If a speck of colour on your clothes is called a stain,

Is paintball a form of Enterstainment?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nimmalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said β€˜if you need anything, I’m Jill.’

I’ve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsRynGYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I went shopping for my son’s back to school clothes. We went over the list when I got back home.

Shirts? Yup. Pants? Yup. Sweatpants? Yup. Nikes? CHECK!

Edit: Grammar

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WavesNVibrations
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey look, the clothes are on sale
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I crack bad jokes about having to borrow my parents old clothes because my job doesn't pay well...

What can I say? I've got my father's jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cumdaddy01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes

He says he likes shooting fish in apparel

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StAnger99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake that isn't wearing clothes?

Snaked!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baquea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the grizzly want to wear clothes?

He wanted to be bear naked🐻🐻🐻

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Clothes drying was one of the most pioneering technologies of our time.

They were the first to go online.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A wife says to her husband: "Honey, I want to donate my clothes to people who are starving."

The husband replys: "Debra whoever receives your clothes surely won't be starving."

(I apologise if this has already been posted, I just heard my dad say it to me today.)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PresidentalPanda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My tailor really likes fixing my clothes

Or sew it seams

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uhud
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s been a long running tradition for my family to, once a year, jog to the nearest clothes store and back

I guess it just runs in the jeans

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend hit it big taking pictures of salmon in human clothes.

He said it was like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting rich by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".

I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommZ5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If you wear cowboy clothes ...

are you ranch dressing?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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