Back in my day, we used to cough to cover up a fart.
But nowadays, with Covid, you fart to cover up a cough.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Remember the band that did that rock cover of βwalk like an Egyptianβ by The Bangles?
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 19 2020
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches youβve never heard of but need to try
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 06 2020
I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.
I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
What do you call things that are said under the covers?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Duck and Cover!
π︎ 4k
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me...
She said βwhat are you doing? What is that noise?β
I said βIβve been screwing around behind your back.β
She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.
I found it way more entertaining then she did.
π︎ 258
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 17 2020
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Why do the words on the front cover of a book lord it over the words on the back cover so much?
They have a strong sense of entitlement.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 26 2020
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I recently received a book with βdo not read until the year 2030β written on the cover
But thatβs a story for another time
π︎ 58
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︎ May 16 2020
Iβm starting an all male cover band of an all female country band.
We are... The Chickse Dicks!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
Oh look, The diction-fairy (never judge a girl by her cover) XD
π︎ 38
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︎ Apr 23 2020
If you're looking for a lead singer for your wham cover band
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Hey pal, why wonβt you cover your face while youβre in public?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
I'm thinking of starting a new website, exclusively so people can subscribe to Ninja Sex Party cover bands.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 06 2020
My dad always used to say " you should never judge a book by its cover"
And its for that reason, that he lost his job as chairman of the British Book Cover Awards panel
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 23 2020
My new favorite cover band?
π︎ 19
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︎ Mar 14 2020
There's a new Fab-Four cover band - The Eetles.. Biggest difference?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 02 2020
Did you hear about the queen cover band consisting of ducks?
They do most queen songs but they don't quack under pressure.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
Bret Michaels is releasing a new album of Zeppelin covers...
...working title is "Led Poisoning"
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 18 2020
My wife traumatically removed the covers from me last night
But I think I will recover
π︎ 35
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︎ Jan 19 2020
How do hobbits cover their food?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 09 2020
DUCK AND COVER!!
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Did you know that the chemical composition of snow changes from "H2O" to "Ba" when it covers your car?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
A band should do a cover of The Knacks song My Sharona and call it My Corona.
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 18 2020
There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
π︎ 22
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︎ Feb 25 2020
Who's the best at installing covers for the instrument panels in automobiles
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 29 2020
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 08 2019
I want to create a Pink Floyd album cover out of cereal.
I think Iβll call it the dark side of the spoon.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
what did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 08 2020
I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!
It's my last resort!
Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"
π︎ 22
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︎ Jan 08 2020
I put superglue on the cover of my daughter's Frozen DVD
Now she just can't let it go
π︎ 41
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
Back in my day, you used to cough to cover up a fart
Now with Covid-19, you fart to cover up a cough
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 19 2020
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