There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...

I thought it was a little far fetched.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsTrickyPig
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...

Not many words rhyme with β€œpaper”.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremec
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
A pirate walked into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head...

So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?

The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I wrote a bunch of dad jokes on tissue paper...

They're all tare-able!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VerbalAcrobatics
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead...

The Times are rough.

πŸ‘︎ 879
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_C_Citizenz
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Paper isn’t just bad for the environment.

It’s tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?

Because he got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DinoRugido24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I heard that a gang based in Los Angeles is creating paper money with pictures of the founder's foot's digits in place of presidents...

I dunno if the Crip-toe currency will take off or not.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Oh nevermind. It's tear-ible.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuteAutumnBear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
I saw my math teacher with a sheet of graph paper eatlier

I think he’s plotting something

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatisaginger
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
One day, Anne decided to create some pencil and paper art. So she grabbed some of her chopped Terra Cotta and decided to create her art at a comedy club. There,

Anne Drew Diced Clay

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Man walks into a psychiatrist office w/clear wrapping paper on

The psychiatrist says,"I can clearly see your nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1989JY_Ked
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to know what paper is

It’s tearable

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fortnitegamer80
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_rafacake_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
β€œ Rico Premium Rice Paper β€œ have a rice day
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealSandieCane
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?

To get to the bottom...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiden93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
How do you make a tissue paper dance?

You put a little boogie in it!

(Heard it from my 7 year old daughter)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man in paper trousers?

Russell

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotTheMessiah83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?

Multiply

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeGuyGaming
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight

Because he was ripped

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Komebak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?

Stationery

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
A cop pulled me over and said, "Papers"

I yelled, "Scissors" and drove off.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
My tree was cut down for paper

RIP

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I opened my wallet and got confused when I only saw paper bills..

It doesn't make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/borsken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I have a box of papers belonging to my once wife.

I think I'll label it the "Ex-Files"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/syntaxerror4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Hopefully they left a paper trail
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Research paper: Dad Jokes and the Deep Roots of Fatherly Teasing

A Danish scientist has delved into the roots of silly, fatherly, humour and come up with a possible explanation

https://psyarxiv.com/r9mhc/

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirito_santo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
After 12 years together, I just found out my wife hates jokes about perforated paper.

She thinks they're tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
The blockage of the Suez shipping canal is going to cause a worldwide shortage of toilet paper....

Unfortunately I ran out of toilet paper already so started using lettuce leaves. Today was the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Eh, nevermind. It's tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayDG93
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I recently wrote a paper about erotic photography of plants

It's a photo-sin-thesis

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Nevermind, it’s tearable...

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
When my grandkids ask, "Grandpa, how did you survive in 2020 when there was no toilet paper?"

I'm going to try them, "We had go outside & drag our butts across the lawn. ( Like the dog does on the carpet.)

Up hill!

Both ways!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I thought I had a foolproof method for high stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors...

... Now I'm losing money hand over fist!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erubadhron89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Double pun : What did the pizza say to the paper?

"You're a pizza sheet"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...

It becomes tearable

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Love_and_Poop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I saw a group of trees sign a paper

It was a peace β€œtree”ty.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THISISWARDUDE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misfitfricky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drlawrie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report

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