There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...
I thought it was a little far fetched.
The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...
Not many words rhyme with “paper”.
A pirate walked into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head...
So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?
The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head
I wrote a bunch of dad jokes on tissue paper...
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead...
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Paper isn’t just bad for the environment.
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
I heard that a gang based in Los Angeles is creating paper money with pictures of the founder's foot's digits in place of presidents...
I dunno if the Crip-toe currency will take off or not.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Oh nevermind. It's tear-ible.
I saw my math teacher with a sheet of graph paper eatlier
I think he’s plotting something
One day, Anne decided to create some pencil and paper art. So she grabbed some of her chopped Terra Cotta and decided to create her art at a comedy club. There,
Man walks into a psychiatrist office w/clear wrapping paper on
The psychiatrist says,"I can clearly see your nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Want to know what paper is
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
“ Rico Premium Rice Paper “ have a rice day
Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...
It’s the “Clicker Picker Upper.”
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
(Heard it from my 7 year old daughter)
What do you call a man in paper trousers?
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight
A cop pulled me over and said, "Papers"
I yelled, "Scissors" and drove off.
My tree was cut down for paper
I opened my wallet and got confused when I only saw paper bills..
It doesn't make any cents.
I have a box of papers belonging to my once wife.
I think I'll label it the "Ex-Files"
Hopefully they left a paper trail
Research paper: Dad Jokes and the Deep Roots of Fatherly Teasing
A Danish scientist has delved into the roots of silly, fatherly, humour and come up with a possible explanation
https://psyarxiv.com/r9mhc/
After 12 years together, I just found out my wife hates jokes about perforated paper.
She thinks they're tearable.
The blockage of the Suez shipping canal is going to cause a worldwide shortage of toilet paper....
Unfortunately I ran out of toilet paper already so started using lettuce leaves. Today was the tip of the iceberg.
I recently wrote a paper about erotic photography of plants
When my grandkids ask, "Grandpa, how did you survive in 2020 when there was no toilet paper?"
I'm going to try them, "We had go outside & drag our butts across the lawn. ( Like the dog does on the carpet.)
Up hill!
Both ways!!!"
I thought I had a foolproof method for high stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors...
... Now I'm losing money hand over fist!
Double pun : What did the pizza say to the paper?
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
Yesterday, I saw a group of trees sign a paper
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Eh, nevermind. It's tearable.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind, it’s tearable...
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