Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds.

I’m proud to say I managed to hit one of the little shits!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PSN_Clamour_Kid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror book in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen.

I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trainsareepic
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
After watching me read β€œWar and Peace”, my son asked me, β€œDad, why is the book so thick?”

Me: Well, it’s ......a long story.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..

... Just had my Appendix removed.

πŸ‘︎ 619
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and SchrΓΆdinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
I had a bunch of books fall on me

I only have my shelf to blame.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheezeturds
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/csgo_Kriptonas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Now to find the right book store
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/milk-is-bad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.

The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."

πŸ‘︎ 447
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'

I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book titled "The Stockholm Syndrome."

I hated it at first, but now I love it.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new winged book?

It just flies off the shelves...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
I've just started reading a book about Fort Knox,

but I'm finding it really hard to get into it.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Finally finished my huge book on the history of clocks.

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
A sailor wrote a book about how to win a woman’s heart

It’s called β€œThe Art of Seaduction”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about anti-gravity.

I couldn’t put it down!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zc601041
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
One of the oldest pun in the book
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkness4923
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about helium

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Contonion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What did book critics think of the Communist Manifesto?

They gave it high Marx because it looked at many new Engels.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Son : Why is the book so thick?

Dad : It's a long story

From r/Technicallythetruth

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sbeve_be
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
What books do cars like to read?

Autobiographies.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Got bored with my usual beverages so I instead tried soaking a book in hot water.

It wasn't great, but at least it was a novel tea.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Turtles.

She said hardback? I said yeah with a little head.

πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Figure-13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. β€œDaddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.

β€œIt’s long story,” replies the father.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinJSJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
My dad always used to say " you should never judge a book by its cover"

And its for that reason, that he lost his job as chairman of the British Book Cover Awards panel

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shoaibnasiri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
Outside of a dog, a man’s best friend is a book.

Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
If you can't find the right book...
πŸ‘︎ 303
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
I recently received a book with β€œdo not read until the year 2030” written on the cover

But that’s a story for another time

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I just finished writing a book on penguins

Now that I think about it, it would’ve been easier if I just wrote in on paper

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/L3broncos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.

The first page says, β€œYou’re not helping!”

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I saw a book called "How to solve 50% of your problems."

So I bought two.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
My friend wrote this book. It’s awful of puns. amazon.com/dp/1097511723/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masterchiefpetty
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
My favorite book series!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Surslush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Just read a book about the history of glue

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book on penguins.

In retrospect, I realize that paper would have been easier..

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
My book on clocks finally arrived.

It's about Time!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
During quarrantine I decided to enrich my science knowledge and started reading a book about anti-gravity.

I couldn't put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights.

Who wants some?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Writing a book about a baby born in the sea...

The title is "From C-word to sea world"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unholypigeon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I finally finished my book on herbs.

Some might say it’s about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grimstache
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.

I just can't seem to put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening

It's about Thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
My son asked me why the book I was gonna read him is so thick...

I told him It's a long story

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joker6983
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.

"It's not our fault" said the librarian,

"That's the one" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.

The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I've hopefully got a book coming out soon

I shouldn't have eaten it really

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror book in Braille. Something terrible’s about to happen.

I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deadman590
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.

It's about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eth0null
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
I hope they don't write a book about Billie Eilish.

The book will be so boring, we already know that she's the bad guy.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleSad
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book about how to make clothes quickly...

It was Sew-Sew!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johiam21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I bought a digital book on how to scam on-line.

Have not received it yet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NorthenBear
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Nineteen Eighty-Four is such a great book

The government should force every student to read it

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I beat my rivals by inventing the world's first book made from onion skin.

Read it and weep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

The fifth one was dead sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Today my son asked β€œCan I have a book mark?” And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesn’t know my names Brian.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I've just written a book on how to fall down a staircase.

It's a step by step guide.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.

Then the librarian told me to take it out.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trace826621
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I have hard time reading self help books...

I don’t why, I just can’t help myself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicholasmooth
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
I made a book to catalog my hex logography

It’s my spell book

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strangermans
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Queen sipping tea while reading a book?

A novelty

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who reads Tin Tin books while in quarantine?

TinTin Quarantino

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_BlueBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
I have written a book on puffins.

Looking back, I realize paper would have been easier.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?‬

Word of mouth‬

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlov’s dog and SchrΓΆdinger’s cat

The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/colemacgrath2009
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Kim Jong Un have so many books?

Because he's the Supreme Reader

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/th3doorMATT
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the math book look so sad?

Because of all of its problems!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Today, my sons asked if he could have a book mark.

I burst into tears. After 10 years he still does’t know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Why does Kim Jong-Un like books?

Because he is the supreme reader

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Can a book be sexy?

Sure, when the plot THICCens.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/discofox57
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
"Hello is this the Doctor's Office? I'd like to book an appointment"

"Of course. What about Ten tomorrow?"

"No I don't need that many"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/generalofbread
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
There weren't a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books.

They were just Tolkien characters.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
My friend showed me his huge comic book collection...

It was quite a Marvel.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
The beginning of the book is so sad that I've just been able to cry for years...

But I think it's time to turn the page.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I’m currently reading a book about gravity

It’s impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I went to a bookstore and asked the guy, β€œDo you have any books by Shakespeare?”

Guy: Of course sir. Which one?

Me: William.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Why did the book cross the road?

To get to the author side.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/praaany
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife for an audio book for my birthday, but she got me an encyclopedia.

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen Helen Keller’s book?

She hasn’t

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/its_rant_time
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
A book fell on my head yesterday

I guess I only have my shelf to blame

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaminimoriya
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
I finally got around to reading that Stephen hawking book.

It’s about time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghandee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Dad: What's your favorite book?

Me: War and Peace.

Dad: No, you can only choose one.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Dad, why is that book so thick?

It's a long story..

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RalGard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

It's impossible to put down

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Today my son asked "can i have a book mark?" I burst into tears.

He is 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sb4410
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Son: dad, why is this book so thick?

Dad: it’s a long story.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumqin-Pie
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Today, my son asked "Can i have a book mark?" And i burst into tears

11 years old and he still doesnt know my name is Brian

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book about anti-gravity

Its impossible to put it down

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
  1. and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report

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