It's an autobiography.
It's a step by step guide.
It was about time!!
it blue me away!
The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
I thought I lobster, and never flounder.
I know it was somewhere on this page, but I just canβt put my finger on it.
I canβt put it down.
It caused a title wave!
"You think I'm bluffing?" I asked.
"No," she said. "You keep showing everyone your cards."
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
It's only a draft at the moment.
It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)
Itβs about thyme.
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
I just canβt put it down
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
Hebrews
I only have my shelf to blame.
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 ....
(credit: Groucho Marx)
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Then IT hit me!
It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
Iβm pleased to say I hit one of them
It was written by Francis Near.
I can't seem to put it down.
It had a lot of problems
I said, βThatβs.....a novel idea.β
It came early
They were sentenced to death
Because the prose outweigh the cons.
He just did and now we have like 40 viruses on our computer.
A thesaurus
They should.
It'll be a real Page-turner!
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
It's a step by step guide.
I canβt seem to put it down.
I just canβt put it down!
I canβt seem to put it down.
β¦IT hit me.
Then IT hit me!
She said "Sure, what volume ?"
